“U.S. to Send 22 Million Troops to Protect Iraq”

If you’re not familiar with Scrappleface, you should check it out. I think it’s the best satire site on the web, and it has a conservative bent. Here is the above item in full:
“The United States will send 22 million troops to Iraq this year to ensure the safety of every Iraqi and every structure in the country.
“Dubbed ‘Operation Buddy System’ by Pentagon planners, the idea is to pair each Iraqi citizen with a battlefield-equipped soldier or Marine.
“‘Since we disturbed the peace by overthrowing Saddam Hussein,’ said an unnamed Pentagon spokesman, ‘it’s our responsibility to protect this nation. We don’t know who the terrorists are, nor when and where they will attack. So, we’ll just have to keep an eye each of the 22 million Iraqis 24/7.’
“The spokesman acknowledged that military recruiting would have to ‘increase substantially’ to provide such a force, but in the meantime Manpower Inc. would provide temp workers to fill most of the positions. The rest would be covered by Transportation Security Administration (TSA) workers who will scan and frisk Iraqis coming from, and going to, anywhere.”
I also laughed out loud at this headline: “Boston Teen Eager to Receive ‘Wicked Screensaver.’” How funny that is depends, I guess, on how many times you’ve gotten the email.

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