The Weasel Goes to Hollywood

Best of the Web linked to this piece in the Telegraph, so it isn’t exactly a scoop, but it’s too bizarre not to comment on. If I didn’t know better, I’d think this was a parody: Wesley Clark, high-ranking general, Democrat hope as a candidate who can supposedly be taken seriously by those of us who are concerned about being blown up, seeks support in Hollywood:
“General Wesley Clark is spending late nights talking politics with Madonna and wooing sympathetic supergroups such as The Eagles, with whom he recently shared the stage during a rendition of Hotel California….While his rivals preach to the worthy but unglamorous residents of early-voting Iowa and New Hampshire, Gen Clark is dressing snappily and going out on the town in LA.
“The showbusiness strategy reflects a change of direction by the Clark campaign team, which has already decided not to compete in the rural Iowa caucuses that launch the primary season. The general’s tacticians believe that Howard Dean, the frontrunner for the Democratic nomination, has already won the support of most left-wing grassroots activists. Gen Clark’s goal is to emulate Bill Clinton in the 1990s by capturing the heart of Hollywood, a centre of liberal power and influence in America.
“‘He wants to be the chosen candidate of Tinseltown,’ said one sympathetic film producer.
“Gen Clark’s Eagles night was judged a political triumph by his team and a model for similar events throughout next year….Dressed in black, the general told the audience that Hotel California had been his favourite song since the days of his military service in the state. The Eagles obligingly placed it first on their playlist. According to a campaign aide, ‘Gen Clark and his wife, Gert, stood by the stage, holding hands and singing along.’
“The concert, hosted by the original founder of the Hard Rock Cafe, Peter Morton, attracted sympathetic film stars such as Jennifer Lopez and Ben Affleck, and raised $500,000 for the campaign. Ms Lopez spent a quarter of an hour with the candidate and reportedly emerged a confirmed Clark fan.
“Mr Morton, who has also thrown a dinner party for Gen Clark with Aaron Sorkin, the creator of the hit television series, West Wing, said: ‘I haven’t been this moved by a politician since I had lunch with Bill Clinton prior to his becoming President’….After the concert, Gen Clark and his wife went directly to Madonna’s mansion, where the discussion ranged from Iraq to President Bush’s recent tax cuts.
“A lunch with [Steven] Spielberg has also taken place. According to Mr Spielberg’s spokesman, Andrew Spahn: ‘Gen Clark was a very bright articulate guy. We talked about Iraq, North Korea, foreign policy and tax cuts.'”
Clark impressed Madonna, too: “After a 90-minute policy discussion with Madonna in her Los Angeles home recently, a friend of the star was authorised to disclose that ‘Madonna was very impressed with Gen Clark’s intelligence and his vision for America.'”
Words fail me. Oh, sure–words like “contemptible,” “joke,” and “laughingstock” come to mind. But they seem inadequate, somehow.

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