Bias? No, by us

Russ Vaughn did not exhaust his creative juices with his ““Night Before Christmas (Cambodian version)” homage to John Kerry. Today Vaughn has favored us with “Bias? No, by us”:

For years we have said as we’ve watched and read,
That the Media are liberally left leaning.
When news only we sought, what we usually got
Was some coiffed commentator’s “true” meaning.
Just seeking the news, we instead got their views
And too much Peter Jennings-like preening.
We are fair they declare and your charge is unfair
Everything we put out is uncanted.
Then they snidely deride any charges they’ve lied
Though it’s clear where their left feet are planted.
They deny overmuch liberal leanings and such
While it’s plain they’re all Rather slanted.
What they call reporting we see as distorting
So obvious that it does appall us.
But they think we’re all sheep, unthinking, asleep,
And care less if their bias does gall us.
As Sunday eves dreadful they feed us a headful
Of that oh so impartial Mike Wallace.
And as for the press, what a self-righteous mess,
Intoning our right to know all.
While the grand New York Times, dismisses and slimes
Those, who for the truth, loudly call.
And the Washington Post sets its columnist host
To impugning these men, one and all.
So election year’s here and it’s crystalline clear
That John Kerry’s the media’s hero.
They praise him in war and completely ignore
Those brave men who rate him a zero.
With utter disdain for truth in the main
This Media’s fiddling like Nero.
At some future date, when it’s far, far too late,
To ever atone for their bias,
Finally faced with their fate that they carry no weight,
All those talking heads will be so pious,
As without any shame they will loudly declaim
How on earth did that phony get by us?

Six-line stanzas with internal rhymes in the first, third and fifth lines repeating the a and b rhymes of each stanza’s “ababcb” rhyme scheme — I believe that Vaughn is a technical innovator as well as a political visionary. We should note that Vaughn served in the 2d Battalion, 327th Parachute Infantry Regiment, 101st Airborne Division in Vietnam in 1965-66.

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