Submitted for his consideration
Thanks to all who responded to our call for reasons Michael Moore should reconsider his 17 reasons to take consolation against suicidal despair addressed to his Kool-Aid-drinking followers. We thought it might be a public service to compile a compelling response encouraging Moore to rethink his position.
We have been inundated with responses, including responses from the many bloggers who answered the call (check the trackbacks on "Why Michael Moore should reconsider"). Thanks to all who submitted responses; they were on the whole creative, funny, thoughtful, deeply felt and occasionally moving.
Reader Catherine Tilley got us off to a good start with this succinct response playing off of Moore's own crude style:
Perhaps Michael Moore should rethink his position because of one simple truth. In the end, HE is the biggest, fattest, most stupid white man...and his self-loathing is so thick, it surrounds him like a fog.Reader Sam Webb forwarded a list of reasons that struck me as particularly compelling:
1. George Bush WON.If this won't do it, nothing will. We're closing the competition and declaring all readers who answered the call winnners.
2. George Bush WON.3. George Bush WON…….I think you get my point.
4. You realize that the next Democrat nominee that hopes to win the presidential election is sure to obtain a Restraining Order against you.
5. Your anticipated appointment as Propaganda Minister may now be in a European country, rather than the United States, a much longer round trip for those late night Krispy Kreme runs.
6. Even though you HATE Texas, you still only have one Kinko’s you can really rely on.
7. The DNC commercials showing YOU windsurfing will never finish production.
8. The 1200 cameras you provided to intimidate voters at polls were instead taken by the "Vote or Die" volunteers you gave them to, who instead taped the Frat Parties and Homemade "Girls Gone Wild" videos, causing them to oversleep on election day.
9. You finally want to change underwear, and now realize you gave all of yours away for nothing.
10. Bruce Springsteen won't return your calls.
11. Whoopi Goldberg does return your calls.12. Your villa in Fallujah was just blown up and you don’t have Iraqi homeowner's insurance.
13. The "thank you" letter for your contribution to this year’s election just arrived in the mail…..signed by Karl Rove.
14. The promise you received that Stem Cell research would make you more attractive to women has been fading fast.
15. Your latest film failed to sway voters to Kerry, but on the brighter side, Osama did follow your script.16. You just realized that a "Puppet Show" has become more credible than your "documentary."
