Today We Learned Something Horrible About Liberals

The liberal web sites were on fire today, but not about Hillary Clinton’s appointment as Secretary of State or Tim Geithner’s elevation to the Treasury Department, or the six percent jump the Dow took in the last hour of trading. No, as so often happens, the liberal web sites were hysterical about…Sarah Palin.

Governor Palin has returned to Alaska and one might have thought, out of sight, out of mind. But no: the liberals’ weird obsession continues unabated. What has Governor Palin done now? In a light-hearted scene that is staged by governors around the country, she “pardoned” a turkey that consequently won’t be eaten for Thanksgiving dinner.

After the pardoning ceremony, she stayed and gave a brief interview to a television reporter. The interview was entirely non-controversial; here it is:

But note: the turkey-pardoning ceremony took place, naturally enough, at a turkey farm. Why do you think they raise turkeys–millions of them–on turkey farms? That’s right! They raise them and then slaughter them, so we can eat them! Which is why the governor’s turkey-pardoning ceremony makes sense. Unless so “pardoned,” turkeys don’t tend to die of old age.

What has liberals a-twitter is that–this being a turkey farm and all–someone starts killing a couple of turkeys in the background while Palin’s interview is going on and she doesn’t seem to care! She continues as though nothing were happening!

This suggests other dire possibilities. When Governor Palin and her husband take their commercial fishing boat out into the ocean for 24 hours at a time, braving high winds and waves, and succeed in hauling salmon into their boat, they don’t catch and release the fish! Instead, they let them die so that people can eat them! And we won’t even start on what happens when Palin hunts moose or caribou. Did you know that those aren’t rubber bullets?

Yes, it’s quite a scandal in Liberal Land. Sarah Palin actually doesn’t mind when turkeys are killed, almost in her very presence. Which is the rub, I suppose. Unlike the Governor, most liberals make sure they’re somewhere else when animals are being slaughtered for food.

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But this explanation must be inadequate. Surely liberals would not express such horror if they too eat animals that have been slaughtered for their benefit. There is only one explanation that fully covers the case (and explains the title of this post): liberals must not eat turkeys that have been slaughtered by others. They must, instead, eat turkeys that are still alive, like oysters! I never would have imagined such a thing, but I don’t see what else we can conclude from their horror over the turkey-massacre in Alaska.

UPDATE: A reader at NRO gets the last word:

She should tell the media that she apologizes and she’ll do her next interview inside an abortion clinic.

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