Cheer Up, Scott!

As Scott writes below–brilliantly–he is depressed. Naturally, I’ve been trying to think of ways to cheer him up. Humor often helps. So here is a joke that one of my brothers told yesterday:

A Republican walked into a bar and asked the bartender, “Isn’t that Jesus over there?” When the bartender said “Yes,” the Republican sent over a drink. “Put it on my tab,” he said.

A little later a Libertarian walked in. “Say,” he said, “Isn’t that Jesus sitting over there?” The barman said, “Yes,” so the Libertarian sent over a hamburger.

Presently a Democrat showed up, noticed Jesus and sent over a plate of french fries.

Jesus soon left. On his way out he stopped to talk to the Republican. “Thanks for the drink,” he said; “It was really good. Is there anything I can do for you?” “Well,” said the Republican, “I’m facing knee surgery…” “Don’t say another word,” said Jesus as he laid a hand on the man’s knee. “You are healed.”

Jesus came to the Libertarian and said, “Thanks for the hamburger. It was really good. Is there anything I can do for you?” “Well,” said the Libertarian, “I have cataracts…” Jesus placed his fingers on the man’s eyes and said, “You are healed.”

Finally, Jesus came to the Democrat. He thanked him for the fries and offered him any help he needed. “Don’t touch me!” shouted the Democrat, “I’m on Disability!!”

OK, here’s some more humor. Joe Biden appeared at the Gridiron Club dinner–President Obama was otherwise occupied, the first President to miss his first Gridiron dinner since Grover Cleveland. Biden was in unusually good form:

President Obama does send his greetings, though. He can’t be here tonight — because he’s busy getting ready for Easter. (Whisper) He thinks it’s about him. …

I understand these are dark days for the newspaper business, but I hate it when people say that newspapers are obsolete. That’s totally untrue. I know from firsthand experience. I recently got a puppy, and you can’t housebreak a puppy on the Internet.

You know, I never realized just how much power Dick Cheney had until my first day on the job. I walked into my office, and you know how the outgoing president always leaves the incoming president a note in his desk? I opened my drawer and Dick Cheney had left me Barack Obama’s birth certificate.

Even more than humor, when you’re depressed you need inspiration. So I scouted around on YouTube and found this video, which blends the two:

And for pure inspiration, you can’t beat Shakespeare:

Of course, during even-numbered Novembers you don’t want to number a “happy few.” Nothing cheers like good news, so I’ll close with this: the latest Greenberg Quinlan/Public Opinion Strategies generic Congressional preference poll shows independents favoring the Republican candidate over the Democratic by 14 points, 38 percent to 24 percent. A lot of voters are concluding they made a bad mistake when they turned Washington over to the Democrats, lock, stock and barrel. So, to wrap up with a platitude: it’s always darkest just before the dawn!

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