How not to write about a baseball game

Here are the first two paragraphs of the Washington Post’s report on yesterday’s baseball game in which the Chicago Cubs beat the Washington Nationals:

Somewhere along the way, wins lost their currency in Washington. The Nationals’ season long ago plunged to depths known only in the Mariana Trench, so victories have little value and do not always constitute progress because even they have been scarred by hapless hitting, woeful fielding and shaky relief pitching.
But that is why Washington’s 6-5 loss to the Chicago Cubs last night could be viewed as a victory despite what the scoreboard indicated.

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