Well, that didn’t take long. Within hours of my confession last night, Iowahawk somehow obtained a copy of the latest advisory circulated by White House Deputy Assistant Under-Minister of Truth Linda Douglass and posted it under the heading “Know your town hall mob agitators!” The advisory comes in an illustrated format faitfhfully reproduced by Iowahawk.
Deputy Assistant Under-Minister of Truth Douglass’s advisory is addressed to the loyal citizens whom she has invited to report fishy comments on the president’s proposed health care — excuse me, health insurance — reform at the official e-mail address firstname.lastname@example.org. Loyal citizens will be relieved to discover that I have not escaped her attention. She advises loyal citizens that I and my “$250 [sic] suit are now entered into our monitoring data base!” She also appears to have found something fishy about Glenn Reynolds (“gaily he smiles behind the wheel of his decadent sporting-car”).
Deputy Assistant Under-Minister of Truth Douglass writes:
Greetings citizen! By now you may have heard scattered rumors of state and party officials encountering reactionary resistors at local health care reform information programs. Do not be alarmed, for our 5-year plan for citizen health proceeds without delay. Remain stalwart! The truth can be told at last, that these so-called “protests” are merely the desperate rear flank mob actions of dead-end bandits and saboteurs in the pay of enemy insurance agents.
Pay them no heed, for these outside agitators in no way represent any threat to our great patriotic push forward for increased citizen heathfulness! These well-dressed prep school gangsters of reaction seek only to frighten and demoralize and intimidate you, with their confusing “facts” and hob-nailed Sperry Topsiders. Unfortunately they are joined in conspiracy by a well-financed network of unlicensed blogs and talk radio traitors, who exaggerate their numbers and percolate disinformation — even cleverly staged YouTube videos of an impostor President Obama saying “quotes”!
Remain strong, citizen, for the day of their comeuppance is near! Patriotic spontaneous volunteers from MoveOn.org, Organizing For America, HCAN, SEIU, AFSCME, ACORN, NPR, and MSNBC have all pledged independent grassroots efforts to spread the word about the health-hating tricksters and their transparent astroturf agitation campaign!
You too can help by remaining ever-vigilant for health traitors in your local sectors. But beware: though small in number the state health reform enemy is clever, and well trained in subterfuge and disguise by his monopolist paymasters. Your job is to recognize his signs, and report any fishy-seeming protest or blog activities to me or other official authorities within the Health Care Truth Ministry.
As you might suspect, Deputy Assistant Under-Minister of Truth Douglass has much more in the advisory that Iowahawk has posted. This may be the most important such document that Iowahawk has published in his distinguished career on the Internet. Surely there must be a Pulitzer Prize of some kind in this for Iowahawk’s important contribution to helping us keep up in the Age of Obama.