Last night Col. Ralph Peters was on Bill O’Reilly’s show, talking about Libya. Peters thinks we should act on behalf of the rebels there, but he expressed skepticism that President Obama will ever do anything. “Obama loves the idea of being President,” Peters said, “but he can’t make a decision.”
I think there is a lot of truth to that, even in domestic policy, where Obama has passively deferred to Harry Reid and Nancy Pelosi on all legislative matters. One can debate whether action is appropriate in Libya or not, but Peters is certainly right when it comes to foreign policy–it is a safe bet that Obama will do nothing, because doing something would require a decision.
That got me thinking: Obama enjoys being president, and he especially treasures the symbolic significance of being the first African-American president. That’s how his supporters feel, too. I haven’t heard anyone defend his actual performance in a long time, but there is still widespread satisfaction with the symbolic value of his presidency. So why don’t we make him king? If being the first African-American president has symbolic value, just think what it would mean for the first King of the United States to be African-American! Plus, Michelle would be a queen and Malia and Sasha would be princesses. How cool would that be?
I realize that there are constitutional issues with establishing a new office of kingship, but they are nothing that couldn’t be cured with a hastily-called constitutional convention. The king would have no duties beyond golf, so Obama would be perfect for the job. Our king would need a place to live, of course–we need to coax Obama out of the White House–so I’m thinking one of those big houses in Newport, Rhode Island would be ideal. Safely out of the way.
Then we could hold a special election and choose a real president. Probably, given the temper of the times, he or she would be a Republican. On no account would our new constitutional arrangement allow Joe Biden to succeed Obama. He would make a terrific viceroy, or possibly court jester.
Sure, it seems like a radical solution. But consider the alternative. The more I think about it, the better I like it: Obama for King!
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