Thoughts from the ammo line

Ammo Grrrll commits microaggressions galore in DISTINGUISHED MEMBERS. Cumulatively, she may even be responsible for aggressions, or macroaggressions. She writes:

Please! I am begging here. In the name of all that’s Holy, stop the fake rape charges! Honestly, I can’t take it any more. I would love to write about something else. Anything else. Heck, maybe even guns and ammo again someday.

“But nooooooo….”, as Steve Martin used to say. Apparently, I am going to be forced to write about fake college rape cases forever. A new outrage comes to light every week. We women have been told for decades that we have “Penis Envy.” And who could blame us? Look what those distinguished members can do!!

Father children. Urinate at a campout without even getting your socks wet. Write your name in the snow. Show a lady a good time. As they say on infomercials: “But wait, there’s more!!”

At Amherst, a Magic Penis could assault a woman orally while its owner was unconscious! Whoa! Nothing tougher than escaping unwelcome attention from an unconscious man! This particular Magic Penis happened to belong to the boyfriend of the Fake Victim du Jour’s roomie. The poor FVdJ evidently had somehow lost all her girlfriends when they learned she had betrayed her roommate. Awwww. She showed them! Twenty-one months – let that sink in! Twenty-one months! – after the “attack”, (hers, as it happened) she charged the unconscious man (presumably, almost sobered up by then) with rape. And was believed. Because women never lie. Except for the legions who do.

Will there EVER be a consequence for these pathological liars, vindictive fabulists, and attention-seeking headcases? There should be jail time and serious financial repercussions for utterly ruining young men’s lives. At least as serious as the 5 years in the clink and the quarter mil you will be fined for the unauthorized copying of a DVD.

I propose a year-long boycott – either total or selectively targeted – of sending our boys to college until the draconian, discriminatory rules governing normal courtship and kangaroo-court disciplinary procedures are rescinded. Oh, but only AFTER the boys have already been accepted. Just don’t show up. Hit ’em where it hurts, in the wallet. Let them have a year of colleges half-filled with only hysterical ninnies. My dear Mother can tell you how fun college was when all the men left for war on December 8th, 1941. This IS a war and the lunatics are winning. Male Alumni and sane women alumnae should cease all donations.

What would it possibly hurt to have our boys sit out a year before college? Send the boys to trade school or the military for three years as the Israelis do. Let them work or travel. You can go a long way on the $65K it takes for a year at Male-Hating U. Better even they should just veg in Mom’s basement reading Great Books. Not one penny to those evil, Stalinoid, freedom-loathing institutions until they take one giant step in the direction of sanity!

Evidently, the mere presence of a penis is enough to be Guilty of Something. Unless, and this is VERY important, unless that penis is attached to a person named Caitlyn. That is not a Magic Penis, or a Guilty Penis, but a mere decorative appendage which in no way indicates that Caitlyn is, in fact, a man. No, you hateful bigot. Caitlyn is a woman and the fact that she is still carrying a penis and accoutrements is of no more significance than if she were carrying a purse. Which she no doubt is, and probably a damn fine one with all the lucre rolling in. Furthermore, she always WAS a woman, Boy Howdy.

I’m told that one of the reasons the Mormons are so interested in genealogy is that if you convert, you can retroactively save all your dead relatives. Whatever. I’ve hardly ever met a Mormon I didn’t like and admire personally; honestly, they seem to be wonderful people. I voted for one for President. Would that he had won. But I have to say that belief strikes me as a bit far-fetched. All due respect…scratch any religion, including my own, find a far-fetched belief or maybe even two.

But it’s waaaay less far-fetched than the notion that that muscular guy on the Wheaties box, Best Male Athlete in the World, was actually a woman then, because he says he is one now. Even though he still has his package. Perhaps, if you want to nit-pick, it’s a tad less robust than before due to an influx of estrogen sufficient to grow breasts, I can’t say. Go to a baseball game on a warm day and you can see more impressive man-boobs even without estrogen. But those guys don’t have reality shows and book deals and magazine covers and interviews worth millions and millions and millions of dollars.

We are at the Abyss, my friends. Our culture has one foot in the grave and the other on a banana peel. Throw in the nearly-unbelievable Rachel Dolezal case, and White is Black; Truth is Falsehood; Men are Women; and George Orwell was a cockeyed optimist.

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