Ammo Grrrll aspired to be A DIARIST FOR THE AGES. She writes:
Many years ago, I bought a six-volume set of the Diaries of Anais Nin, a famous Spanish-Cuban-French woman who chronicled every waking minute of her life in diaries. It inspired me to give it a go. Almost immediately, it became clear that she was living a much more exciting life than mine and that I was about to turn out the most boring and repetitive diary in the history of that, or any, literature.
Anais Nin (who is often a crossword puzzle answer now since “Anais” has so many vowels) wrote about having cocktails and deep conversations with Henry Miller and Gertrude Stein in Paris. She knew everyone who was anyone. She also – and I mean no “slut-shaming” judgment here – apparently had sex with everyone with a pulse on several continents. My diary quickly lapsed into grocery lists, recipes, restaurant meals I loved, and – here’s a shock! – diet failures.
Even when I traveled to more interesting places than suburban St. Paul, Minnesota, the journal could have been marketed as a sleep aid: “Maui is really pretty. The people here are so nice. Why did I order Macadamia Nut Pie for dessert again? At breakfast. When I get back home, I really have to try that low-carb thing again.”
“Israel is really pretty. Also very historic. The people here speak Hebrew which I do not. There is only so far one can get with just the Torah blessing as conversation. The food is awesome, especially the Israeli Breakfast Buffet. I love the fresh-squeezed orange juice and the falafel stands, too. When we get home, I plan to try a juice fast.”
“Amsterdam is really pretty. The people are big and tall and blonde, like Minnesotans. They get Argentine beef here, which is really tender. I do not know why so many Dutch women sit in windows with most of their clothes off – what’s up with that? I plan to try the Smoothie Diet when I get home. And then maybe sit in a bay window in my flannel nightie. Memo to self: discuss with Mr. AG if we should put in a bay window.”
Since the diary idea – called “journaling” in Lady Speak now – was such a bust, I am sticking to my strength, which is “list making.” Every single day since 7th grade, I have made a To Do List and checked off every item. If I do something NOT on the list, I PUT it on the list. And then I check it off. It is important to me to feel like I am accomplishing something. Especially in retirement, when I consider it an accomplishment to know what day of the week it is.
Mr. AG once told me that Revolutionary Hero and 2nd President, John Adams, was an inveterate daily To Do list maker. Although, while my list has items like “Drink 3 cups coffee”; “Floss twice”; “Meditate for 10 Minutes”; “Iron 4 pillowcases”; ”Think About Column”; “Maybe Start Writing Column”; and “Go to the Post Office”, John Adams’ To Do List was rather weightier:
“Contact Thom Jefferson as Writing Partner”
“Draft Declaration of Independence” with TJ
“Join 90 Revolutionary Committees, Chair 25” (Seriously)
“Agree to be General Washington’s VP”
Become known as “The Father of the Navy”
Run for President after George
And so on…
I have a t-shirt I bought during the Obama Ammo Drought Era at a gun show, using the famous “gunshow t-shirt exception” that allows you a free t-shirt with every fully-auto Uzi and sawed-off shotgun you buy with no background check. Just ask the Babbling Bimbo Gun Experts (of either gender) in The Media how easy that is. I wear that shirt a lot less since I got holes in it from bore cleaning fluid. But here is the message I was drawn to:
“AMERICA: Designed by Geniuses; Run by Idiots.”
We stand on shoulders so tall we could never be grateful enough. Yes, the World War II Generation was a Great Generation to be sure. They fought and died to preserve and protect the land and liberty they had inherited as a birthright and saved the world from fascism. But those patriots in the 1700s fashioned this Republic from whole cloth with no blueprint – the mind reels! What a crime that the anti-American left-wing lunatics in charge of educating our young people for several decades now will soon not teach the history! of these intellectual giants at all. Icky Old White Men! Who never said a word about men in dresses being able to potty amidst the actual ladies and girls!
And yet not a one of those NFL millionaire kneelers or howling harridans with their obscene signs and pink hats can point to a better system, a country with more opportunity for every single grievance group they represent. And if they can, why don’t they move there?
If I believed that the United States were as anti-Semitic as the BLM people claim it is racist, I would move to Israel before I even finished this column.
The professional Grievance Grubbers promise every election to leave if their candidate loses and they never do. Liars and welshers as well as idiots. The countries they cite as Paradise have to erect barbed wire and high walls with gun turrets – Cuba, Venezuela, the former Soviet Union, North Korea, East Germany — to keep their delighted citizens IN. And we have to – please, God – have some sort of a wall to keep invaders out, since our reputation as Racist, Sexist Deplorables is not, evidently, enough to deter them.
It’s almost as if they know it isn’t true!