Reagan used to like to tell a joke about the two Russians talking on the street, where one asks, “Have we reached peak Communism? Is this it?” To which his compatriot replies, “Oh no—things are going to have to get a lot worse!”
This comes to mind with the observation that just when you think liberals can’t get any more out of touch or ridiculous, they step up with something fresh and even more ridiculous. By now perhaps you’ve heard about the New Yorker article bemoaning that Chick-fil-A is opening restaurants in New York City:
It’s “creepy” because the company is . . . Christian. From the article:
And yet the brand’s arrival here feels like an infiltration, in no small part because of its pervasive Christian traditionalism. Its headquarters, in Atlanta, are adorned with Bible verses and a statue of Jesus washing a disciple’s feet. . .
Chick-fil-A’s success here is a marketing coup. Its expansion raises questions about what we expect from our fast food, and to what extent a corporation can join a community. . .
Personally, what I expect from fast food is that it be tasty, and, um. . . fast, since I’m usually in a hurry to get somewhere. I don’t worry much about the metaphysics of fast food. But that’s just me. Really, you’d have thought the whole article was a droll satire of the left, and Andy Borowitz could have done it. But it is clear Piepenbring means it. He especially dislikes the chain’s long-running EAT MORE CHICKEN ad campaign:
It’s worth asking why Americans fell in love with an ad in which one farm animal begs us to kill another in its place. Most restaurants take pains to distance themselves from the brutalities of the slaughterhouse; Chick-fil-A invites us to go along with the Cows’ Schadenfreude.
I’m going to bookmark this article for moments when I’m down and need a good laugh.
Meanwhile, even Nate Silver (who, after his 2016 election call, should be downgraded to Nate Bronze shouldn’t he?) gets why this is absurd:
And John Podhoretz wins the Twitter sweepstakes on this story:
Meanwhile, Father Dwight Longenecker offers the most droll riposte:
Starbuck’s Creepy Infiltration of South Carolina
Ah cain’t help noticing that this here Starbucks keeps setting up new coffee shops all over South Carolina
My and my younguns were comin’ back from church and headin’ for the rifle range for some practice, and goshdarn if I ain’t seen another one of them liberal, communist coffee shops opening up. I said to Houston (he’s my fourth boy), “Son, look at that sign up air. You see that?” . . .
“That there is a pagan symbol of a mother goddess–the goddess of the sea and the moon. That Starbucks is a devil worshipping kinda place.”
“What are they doin here in South Carolina Pa?” says my boy Austin. He’s the oldest. He’s fourteen.
“They come here from out West in Seattle where all them folks are feminists and homos and communists.” . . .
Dallas whispered, “What was it like? Was they worshipping devils in there?”
Austin says, “It was real quiet like and everybody was asking for coffee and they had come kind of secret language. Like they didn’t say ‘small or medium’ or anything it was something foreign like cap of china and rio grande. I couldn’t figure it out noway.”
Score another win for Team Trump.
P.S. Wait till The New Yorker finds out about In-N-Out Burger (which is only the greatest burger chain in the known universe).
P.P.S. As several people have pointed out, just think what the reaction would be if a New Yorker writer worried aloud about the creepy religious infiltration of halal carts.
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