Witness to History

Regular readers have probably noticed that while I live in Minnesota, I don’t spend much time here. Usually I’m traveling somewhere on business. Tonight I’ve just gotten back from four days in Milwaukee. Last night I went to the Brewers game at gorgeous Miller Park. Thus, I witnessed Sausagegate, one of today’s big news stories.
At every home Brewers game, there is a race down the third base line among four sausage-type contestants–Italian Sausage, Hot Dog, Bratwurst, somebody else. We do the same thing at the Metrodome, except it’s just a cartoon on the screen. In Milwaukee, they use real people with goofy costumes.
Here is a photo from last night’s race:
Last night, an obscure Pittsburgh Pirate named Randall Simon leaned out of the dugout and whacked Italian Sausage on its (fake) head with a bat, causing the sausage to take a tumble. Hot Dog then tripped over the fallen Italian Sausage. After the game, Simon was led away in handcuffs. ESPN’s account of Sausagegate is here.
Well, anyway, there I was in a box on the third base side, watching the sausage race with some curiosity, and I didn’t see a thing. Nada. I just thought Italian Sausage tripped–easy to do, in that getup. They showed the replay four or five times, and I still didn’t see her (Italian Sausage turns out to be an 18 year old girl) get hit. Newspaper accounts say that Simon was booed when he batted in the 7th, but I was there and I deny that. His appearance as a pinch hitter prompted some chuckles, since he is the fattest player I’ve ever seen in a major league uniform–and I saw Cecil Fielder–but I didn’t hear any boos.
Anyway, the first time I knew anything untoward had happened was this morning when I saw the Milwaukee Jounal Sentinel. The top story on the first page was Sausagegate, complete with stop-action photos. I was embarrassed, although not as embarrassed as Simon. My one chance to witness history, and I missed it.


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