On Friday we provided the Steyn variations that Mark created for Bill Bennett’s “Sandy Berger lies” contest. In his weekly Chicago Sun-Times column, Steyn mocks the “Grandma Smith goes to Washington” coverage attending Nancy Pelosi’s ascension to the House Speakership. Pelosi has invoked the five children she had in the space of six years as good preparation for the job. Last week we learned, courtesy of Barbara Boxer, that it also qualified her to formulate foreign policy. Steyn observes the Democrats and their buds in the presss corps celebrating the Fecund Coming and offers up “The Pelosi Bunch””
“Here’s the story of a lovely lady
Who was raising 30 grandkids on her own
All of them had hair of black like their gran’ma
And swaddling cloths hand-sewn.”
“Here’s the story of a man named Hastert
Who was never photographed with any kids
‘Cept in stories on Mark Foley’s pages
And so he hit the skids…”
As to the five kids in six years, Steyn works the demographic theme that is at the heart of America Alone :
I would wager that, when the young Nancy Pelosi had “five children in six years,” a hefty percentage of that parenthood wasn’t planned. She is, in that sense, philosophically at odds with her party — and, indeed, with her congressional district. San Francisco now registers more dogs that it does schoolchildren. Lest you think I’m being my usual homophobic self, I hasten to add that for once I’m not: It speaks well for the Bay Area that they had to embrace the gay life to match the collapsed birth rates European cities have managed to achieve heterosexually. Nonetheless, at a time when fertility rates call into question the survival of Russia, Japan, Germany, Spain and Italy, the new speaker certainly presents an unusual model: She appears to be a rare example of a woman who truly “has it all.” She had five kids and then became the first female speaker in human history, an event (according to the media) women have been waiting for since Caveman Ug said, “Hi, honey, I’m home!” and clubbed the missus over the head for being late with the saber-toothed meatloaf. It’s certainly not the career path feminist orthodoxy has commended these last 30 years, but it seems to have brought Pelosi happiness, and at a time of greater life expectancy it has a certain logic: Have kids in your 20s, go into politics in your 40s, serve as two-term president in your 60s. You can have it all!
It’s a column that takes you along for a ride and arrives at a surprising destination.