Thoughts from the ammo line

Our friend Ammo Grrrll is back in the ammo line:

After my first post, Responder Pete Parks (Salisbury University) said, “Finding ammo is a pain.” Es verdad, Pedro, es verdad! Bilingual Arizona talk for “Yes, Pete, it’s true!”

But, fear not, for Ammo Grrrll is here to tell you all you need to know about succeeding in the difficult world of scarce ammo: Find someone who already HAS ammo and offer to pay double for it or to put a hurtin’ on ’em unless they share. You’ve GOT a gun, right? Ho, ho, ho.

Just a little harmless Wacky Gun Nut humor, there.

But, seriously. All you need is pretty much unlimited time, a fair amount of money, a relentless obsessive pursuit of your goal, and some good networking and intel. Nothing to it!

For more than a year there, ammo was so scarce that all the regular outlets limited customers to 3 boxes of ammo, and in some cases, even a single box. We Ammo Line regulars speculated that soon the poor clerk would auction off single bullets on a little velvet pillow.

Walmart’s prices cannot be beat. Find out from the Sporting Goods Department manager what days and time new ammo is put on the shelves. Be very nice to these people. Cookies and homemade Lemon Bars help. The ammo drought is not their fault and they don’t appreciate being verbally abused.

Did you know that Walmart has a phone app that will tell you what is in stock? Sadly, my technological skill level is below that of the average 3-year-old. I’m the only woman in America who cannot reliably take photos with my own Verizon Crap Phone, or even answer it without it going all meshuggah on me and whimsically dialing a conference call in Guam. But I have friends who aren’t intimidated by an app who will share intel. (See: Cookies and/or Lemon Bars.) Some of these friends will check 4 or 5 different Walmarts in the Phoenix metro area every day. That’s where the unlimited time part comes in. And the obsessiveness.

If you learn from the app that 225 round boxes of Remington .22LR Golden Bullets are coming to Casa Grande, and will be put on the shelves at 7:00 a.m., then get there at 6:30 or earlier. (Once, to secure 3 thousand-round boxes of M-22 Winchester ammo, one determined, insomniac buddy and I got there at 2:00 for my first all-nighter since college. It was less fun than I remembered. Not to mention that the ammo does not reliably go “Bang.” You might as well throw it at the target.)

Gun shows used to be a good place for bulk ammo, but the last one I attended had .22LR ammo for 35 cents a round, more than you’d pay for 9 millimeter. I pay between five and ten cents a round at Walmart for .22s. So, thanks anyway, but no. Nothing against a fair profit.

But there’s such a thing as karma, pal. Just sayin’.


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