Green Weenies for Third Graders?

Can we award one of our coveted Green Weenies to a bunch of third graders, or would that be bullying? We really do try to restrain ourselves from beating up on the Climatistas every day, because they just make it so easy with their relentless hysteria and McCarthyite antics. But when the Climatistas reach a whole new level of absurdity, we just can’t let it pass.

There’s a brand new website—IsThisHowYouFeel?—where climate scientists have embraced one of the common exercises of third grade teachers: handwritten letters about how you feel about something important! If I didn’t know better I’d suspect this was Anthony Watts taking up satire. But no, they really mean it. This one may be my favorite:

How climate change makes me feel:

I feel a maelstrom of emotions

I am exasperated. Exasperated no one is listening.

I am frustrated. Frustrated we are not solving the problem.

I am anxious. Anxious that we start acting now.

I am perplexed. Perplexed that the urgency is not appreciated.

I am dumbfounded. Dumbfounded by our inaction.

I am distressed. Distressed we are changing our planet.

I am upset. Upset for what our inaction will mean for all life.

I am annoyed. Annoyed with the media’s portrayal of the science.

I am angry. Angry that vested interests bias the debate.

I am infuriated. Infuriated we are destroying our planet.

But most of all I am apprehensive. Apprehensive about our children’s future.

Associate Professor Anthony J. Richardson, Climate Change Ecologist

Prof. Richardson left off, “I am a loser.”

This one is equally fine:

Knowing how much is at stake, knowing that I am one of the few people who understand the magnitude of the consequences and then realizing that most of the people around me are oblivious. Some of the people are not only oblivious, they also do not want to understand. They have made up their mind, maybe based on the opinion of someone they trust, someone in their family, or a friend, maybe based on a political conviction, but certainly not based on facts. 

It makes me feel sick. Looking at my children and realizing that they won’t have the same quality of life we had. Far from it. That they will live in a world facing severe water and food shortages, a world marked by wars caused by the consequences of climate change. 

It makes me feel sad. And it scares me. It scares me more than anything else. I see a group of people sitting in a boat, happily waving, taking pictures on the way, not knowing that this boat is floating right into a powerful and deadly waterfall. It is still time to pull out  of the stream. We might lose some boat equipment but we might be able to save the people in the boat. But no one acts.

Time is running out.

Associate Professor Katrin Meissner, ARC Future Fellow

This one is pretty good, too:

Dear Earth,

Just a quick note to say thanks so much for the last 4 billion years or so. It’s been great! The planetary life support systems worked really well, the whole biological evolution thing was a nice surprise and meant that humans got to come into being and I got to exist!

I’m really sorry about the last couple of 100 years – we’ve really stuffed things up haven’t we! I though we climate scientist might be able to save the day but alas no one really took as seriously. Everyone wants to keep opening new coal mines and for some reason that escapes me are happy to ignore the fact that natural gas is a fossil fuel. Well, no one can say we didn’t try!

You’re probably quietly happy that “peak human” time has come and gone and it’s kind of all downhill got us now, though I guess you’re more than a bit miffed at what we’ve done to your lovely ecosystem (the forests and corals were a really nice touch by the way) and sorry again for the tigers, sharks etc.

In case you were wondering, our modeling suggests that your global biogeochemical cycles (especially the carbon one) should reach a new dynamic equilibrium in about 100,000 years or so. I guess it will be a bit of a rocky road until then but, oh well, no one said the universe was meant to be stable!

All the best and do try and maintain that “can do” attitude we love so much.

Prof Brendan G. Mackey, PhD

There’s a bunch more if you have the time. Congratulations to all the Climatistas who have become rising third graders. Green Weenies all around.

UPDATE:  Hoo boy, not to be outdone, photographer Nick Bowers has compiled a bunch Leibowitz-style black and white photos of “Scared Scientists.”  This ought to do the trick.  (Though they look like outtakes from Grapes of Wrath or something, though I suppose that’s the point.)  Here’s one, of Shauna Murray, an Australian biologist:

Looks to me more like desperation.