Ten strikes and you’re out

A friend takes us on a stroll down memory lane with the top Democratic swings and misses of 2014.

1. Reid cleverly gets Baucus (MT) to resign early to be appointed ambassador. The Dem governor then appoints a senator who can run as an “incumbent.” They appoint a guy who has plagiarism problems and has to drop out. They can only find some whacko woman to run instead. Easy R pick up.

2. The Dems get excited about picking up a seat in Mississippi because there was a primary fight. The Dems are smoking way, way too much dope whether it is legal or illegal. This issue faded away quickly.

3. Dems try to paint Tom Cotton as out of touch. They bring Bubba and Bubbette in to salvage Pryor’s back side. Cotton wins going away by 17. R pick up.

4. The open seat in SD looks good to Dems because former senator Larry Pressler runs as an independent, potentially siphoning away R votes. When he admits to voting for Obama his campaign loses what little air is has. Easy R pick up.

5. Mark Uterus (CO) runs a campaign focusing on the war on womyn, disgusting almost everyone. R pick up.

6. Joni Ernst is painted as another warrior on womyn. She is indeed a warrior and beats a trial lawyer who told a small group of Texas lawyers what he really thinks of Iowa farmers. She wins by 7.

7. The Dems get excited about firing Mitch McConnell and run a woman who pretends to care about coal and guns. McConnell wins by 16.

8. The Dems get excited about firing Pat Roberts who has been in DC too long. They persuade their own candidate to withdraw from the race in Kansas, running a Trojan horse as an independent. Roberts wins by 9.

9. The Dem cipher incumbent in NC runs a perfect campaign and loses in the tidal wave.

10. Mary Landrieu claims her independence from Obama, but because Reid won’t let anything of substance come to the Senate floor her voting record is 97% with Obama. She will lose the run-off in December.

Delicious.

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