Thoughts from the ammo line

Ammo Grrrll is thinking ABOUT LAST MONDAY…She writes:

My candidate did not win in Iowa. Who was that, you ask breathlessly?

Donco Cruzabee, that’s who. I want someone with Ted Cruz’s brains and debating skills, with the youthful good looks and inspiring backstory of Marco Rubio, the genial warmth and personality of Mike Huckabee, and the cojones, minus the gratuitous rudeness, of Donald Trump.

As I read the many many postmortems and comments on Power Line and several other sites, here are some of my more or less random observations:

ONE. As astute and always-respectful commenter, Deborah Brown has said we are going to have to resign ourselves to an IMPERFECT candidate. There is no perfect candidate who can satisfy every voter, or even every conservative voter. There is no Donco Cruzabee, and if there were someone would find out that in 3rd grade he pulled a girl’s pigtails and the NYT would run a 72-pt headline, “Cruzabee Has History of Sexual Assault.” That’s because:

TWO. These elections turn on idiotic minutiae that are blown more out of proportion than the old Barbie Doll’s measurements. In a nation with crushing debt, foreign policy disasters, a vanishing middle class, the shredding of the Constitution, do we really have the luxury of caring whether Mitt Romney teased someone when he was 14? Or that someone drank too much water during a debate or even, God forbid, forgot his third point? Hell, I forget what I was going to say sometimes mid-sentence. For that matter, going back a few years, what possible difference did it make that Adlai Stevenson had a hole in his shoe? Are we all daft? When polled, we all say we want the candidates to have a “vision,” to tell us what they are going to do, and we all hate the negativity. But we don’t. That’s why the oppo researchers are going great guns right now to inform us that this guy’s great-great-grandfather wrote a private letter in which was found a racist word, and that in 1972 that guy called up “Information” for numbers he could have looked up in the phone book.

THREE. What’s up with all the name-calling, my fellow Americans? Good grief! How trippingly on the tongue come shouts of “RINO!” and “Establishment!” and “Brown Shirts!” and then the truly juvenile insults like “retard.” Why not just go full “doody-head” and “poopy-pants”? Are we not grown-ups? I am going to severely paraphrase a wonderful 25-year-old joke told by terrific standup comic Emo Phillips. I hope he remembers that I once reviewed him for a Twin Cities newspaper and gave his comedy album a rave and doesn’t mind that I now “quote” the gist of his joke from memory.

He tells a kind of shaggy dog tale about meeting a Little John-like character mid-way through crossing a bridge and a standoff ensues. The man announces, “I am a Christian,” and he replies, “Yes! So am I.” The man says, “I am a Protestant,” and he replies, “Great! So am I!” The man says, “I am a Lutheran!” and he agrees, “So am I!” The man says, “I am from the Missouri Synod!” and he says, “Me, too!” He says, “I attend St. Stevens on Oak Street,” and the man says, “Die, Heretic!”

We have all been toiling in the vineyards of left-wing cultural domination for a long time. My friends and colleagues on Power Line, particularly Scott and John, have been in the trenches in Minnesota, arguably “the belly of the beast,” for a decade or two. It would be laughable, if it were not both erroneous and depressing, to see the vitriol hurled at them for being insufficiently able to grasp the charms of Trump or the “treachery” of Rubio. They certainly do not need me to defend them. But why, when we all here have so much in common and the stakes are so high, do we allow ourselves to say “Die, Heretic!” to someone who has a slightly different perspective?

I do not believe that much will change even with a Republican win in 2016, even with a veto-proof Congress. “Lucy” has pulled the football away from me for too many times to believe in miracles. And Government, in general is a sclerotic behemoth that cannot be moved. My core issues are border control, Second Amendment rights, First Amendment rights, and pro-Israel/anti-terrorism foreign policy.

Donald Trump looked very attractive to me on these issues. Nobody hates Political Correctness more than I do. But is childish rudeness the same as fighting PC speech? Is it yugely smart to make insinuations about a newswoman’s period or to call a brave and brilliant conservative like Michelle Malkin (who, by the way, has to hire full-time bodyguards for her children so numerous are the death threats) “born stupid”?

Nevertheless, unlike some, I WILL vote for Trump if he is our standard-bearer. I will also vote for Cruz, Rubio, Carly, or even Christie. I will vote for almost anyone against Hillary or Bernie or, for that matter, Gun Grabber-in-Chief, Bloomberg. I initially preferred Rick Perry, but for whatever reasons, he faded fast. This is a long slog. And very very important. Let’s try to keep it as convivial as we can. Except for you crapweasel, neocon, neonazi, RINO-loving, douchebag Heretics who support that other guy.