Can Donald Trump Order Pants Like LBJ?

One of Donald Trump’s more bizarre tweets was his attack on Jonah Goldberg for being a guy “who can’t even buy pants.” Jonah tells me he is been puzzling over this for a long time, because, he asserts, he is perfectly competent at purchasing pants without a personal shopper. His spouse doesn’t get panicky phone calls from Macy’s saying “Your husband is lost in Housewares again looking for pants!”

Then it struck me. Perhaps Trump is projecting, as the pop psychologists say. And with all the talk about how Trump is so crude, it strikes me that he doesn’t come anywhere close to the Lyndon Johnson Crudity Standard, at least when it comes to buying pants. If you’ve never heard the legendary tape of President Johnson ordering pants over the phone, well here it is, in it’s full nine-minutes of sartorial glory: