We’re going to take a break from the bathroom wars this week. . . oh hell no we’re not! Since we’re now in the age of “self-identifying,” college students will no longer need to get false IDs to buy beer. I say every bar in America must serve anyone who self-identifies as 21 years old. And why stop there? Abolish driver’s licenses: anyone who self-identifies as a driver should be allowed on the road. It will solve the controversy over whether to give driver’s licenses to illegal aliens. For that matter, why have citizenship qualifications at all? If you self-identify as an American, you’re in.
And finally. . .