Thoughts from the ammo line

Ammo Grrrll has filed this special edition of her regular column. She calls this one OH MY GOD!:

By now, everything that could be said about this realignment of the Universe has probably already been said in essays and comments. In a column I wrote during the primaries called “D-I-V-O-R-C-E,” when almost no Conservative Thought Leader believed Trump had a snowball’s chance in Hell to win the General Election, I said (as unseemly as it is to quote oneself): “Can Trump win? How many genius prognosticators who say he will get creamed by Hillary also put money on him to fade in the primaries? Of course he can win. It’s what he does. Will we be better off? I don’t know. And neither do you.”

And he has won! I thought all the karma in the world was used up on the Cubs’ winning the World Series for my dear husband personally. I was mistaken. It’s a new day in a strange world!

Trump did not run a perfect campaign. He made several early unforced errors – among which I do not count the purloined tape of silly, decade-old green room boy-talk. I hear ten times more graphic talk every Tuesday at poker and the women give as good as we get. It’s fun. We are semi-grownups who drink, compete for double entendres and play cards. If those evenings were taped, not a one of us could ever run for office.

But, all things considered, I think Donald J.Trump ran a courageous, energetic race. I did NOT “hold my nose” to vote for him. I was proud to back a fighter. I would rather vote for what I want even if I don’t get it. And I wanted secure borders, gun rights, support for Israel, and vetted “refugees.” That would have been Oh-for-four with Hillary.

Trump had never run for office before. Neither have most of us and we would do equally badly. With rare exceptions, it requires a particular and vile skillset, a careful balance of vague promises you have no intention of keeping, and baldfaced lies the media will never fact-check if you are a Democrat. The Clintons have been running for or holding office for their entire lives. They are experts. Campaigning also involves dreary canned speeches with the iron discipline never to go off-message. That’s why Obama used a Teleprompter even at a kindergarten and a rodeo: “Hope, Change, good. God, Guns, bad. Blah, blah, blah. Did you notice I’m Black?” Iron discipline apparently is not one of Donald’s long suits.

In the end, Trump was forced to run against an unholy alliance that included unhappy GOP pols, even unhappier conservative pundits, Soros and Hollywood billionaires and stars-for-hire; the media lickspittles (said in years past to be worth at least 15%); noncitizens and felons voting by encouragement of the President; and the bottomless slush fund the Clintons amassed for years. Hillary accumulated this war chest peddling six-figure speeches we can’t hear, pay-to-play access to the Secretary of State and operating a fake charity.

In the inevitable “what now?” analysis, around 2:00 a.m., one “queer brown” woman (her own description) expressed fear and paranoia. Lady, was ONE “Hillary” sign or Democrat HQ defaced, fire-bombed or vandalized? Did any Trump supporter set a car with a Hillary bumper sticker on it ablaze? Did the Trump campaign pay people to disrupt at the handful of tiny rallies Hillary tried to cough through? The ones frontloaded with degenerate n-word spewing “stars” that appeal to her fan base? No. You are perfectly safe to live your life.

After all the fear-and-loathing mongering about the Alt Right, after all the disparaging of the Basket of Deplorables, the only brownshirt activity came, as usual, from the left. It worked and it will continue because it worked. There was “violence” at the Trump rallies – “caused” by the terrible rhetoric of meanie Trump. Just ask the craven media. Proven by leaked emails to be from mentally-disturbed hired help? Oh, dear. Nothing to see here; move along briskly.

Trump has not lived his life as a Choir Boy, but Mitt has. And what happened? The oppo researchers had to go all the way back to JUNIOR HIGH – think of that! – to find a 14-year-old kid cutting another kid’s hair as some kind of bullying prank. Even the family of the “victim,” conveniently deceased, was appalled at dragging his name into it.

Our beloved country now has a fighting chance to avoid being overrun by all of Central America, unvetted Middle East “refugees,” thousands more “Minnesota men” and their 15 children by each of four wives. Hillary promised open borders. And the illegal aliens would have been carefully parceled out into any district that might, possibly, ever be inclined to vote conservative. Somalis, El Salvadoran gang members, and Syrians would not be needed in Malibu, or Cape Cod, perish the thought! Why, consider the property values! Besides, Maliboobs and Cape Codgers reliably vote as they are told to by all the Cool People already.

We were staring down the barrel of 40 years of a far-left Supreme Court, although, barring a Biblical lifespan miracle, I would have been as dead as our First and Second Amendment rights by then. On a very sad note, the Stephenapo-louses will be moving to Australia. Please let’s help them pack. Also emigrating are Cher and Miley Cyrus (the Aging Jerk and the Brain-Dead Twerk). The list continues. Threatening (but not promising) to leave are Jon Stewart, Babs Streisand, Al Sharpton, Lena Denham and Whoopi who will no longer be able to grace us with their Deep Thoughts except from afar. We’ll try to bear up. Venezuela is right up your political alley, kids. Don’t forget to pack the Charmin and some Spam.