Thoughts from the ammo line

Ammo Grrrll seeks to inspire someone or other to start CLEANING OUT THE PANTRY. She writes:

After more than two and a half years of writing this column, I believe I know my readers and commenters pretty well. This will not be a cute soliloquy on my kitchen which would cause the menfolk to cease reading by now; there’s a metaphorical point in here, fellas, I promise, so stay with me.

I have a large walk-in pantry off my kitchen in my Arizona Dream House. Since I generally cook as though threshers are coming to eat after they get out of the fields, but before they do a barn-raising, the pantry looks like the food section of a sizable convenience store.

Periodically, I take everything out and clean each shelf and organize it in a lovely Obsessive-Compulsive fashion with all the labels perfectly centered and pointed front.

And, oh, the fun things you’ll find in that pantry! On this shelf, lurking behind the powdered sugar, a weaponized chunk of brown sugar! Yes, yes, I know there’s household hints on how to soften it again, but I’d rather just go ahead and spend that $1.29 to replace it and read a good book. I may keep the bag in my nightstand next to my .45 as something I can throw if I run through all the cartridges in my four magazines. (Plus one in the chamber.)

Also found in the pantry are several small cans of beets, expired for just two years, that were purchased because they were supposed to be good for some darn thing or other I read about somewhere. Nobody in my entire social circle will eat beets. Even my farm girl bestie, Angela, insists that “beets taste like dirt,” though I have never asked her how she knows that. The Paranoid Texan Next Door has MILK that is more than two years old, but, call me crazy, I threw the beets out.

Over here are several varieties of stale crackers in opened boxes that SOMEBODY – I’m not going to mention any names here, but his initials are Mr. AG – failed to seal up properly. It is hard to keep crackers fresh when the boxes look like they have been broken into by some very impatient, ravenous raccoon and the little tab will therefore no longer fit into the slot.

As I was cleaning shortly after the election of President-Elect Trump – I just like saying that – I thought about that pantry and how badly the Democrats’ election pantry with its stockpile of expired talking points needs to be cleaned out. I do hesitate to give them any helpful advice, but there is an identical chance that your teenager will take your advice on fashion as that the auld left will listen, so I will weigh in.

See, guys, the #WarOnWomen crap has really run its course. It might have started out with a “sweet” feel to it like that new bag of soft brown sugar, but it has become ossified and useless because it is so embarrassingly far afield of reality. It requires a gigantic web of lies and several fake “hate” crimes and made-up rapes to sustain it.

First of all, let’s just clarify that “war,” as General Sherman said, is “hell.” It involves maiming, destruction, starvation, dislocation and mass death. “Man-splaining” is neither war nor hell. Nor is saying, “Hey, guys, let’s roll,” to a group of both genders. Of which there are only two.

There will not be a ban on birth control, ladies. Not ever. But feel free to stock up on it while the taxpayers are still footing the bill. Many of you should not reproduce. Especially you who feel that $9.00 a month is too much to pay to prevent pregnancy, even though that is probably your Starbucks Grande Caramel Frappa-something budget for the DAY. Cheapness genes should not be passed on. Thrift is good; expecting other people to pay for you, less good.

American women are doing just fine. There are many more women than men in college, in law school, in med school. There is virtually no profession in which a qualified woman may not succeed. We can drive, leave home without a male to accompany us, and needn’t be wrapped in swaddling clothes unless we choose to.

The freedoms we take absolutely for granted are unheard of in great swaths of the world. But don’t get on your high horse, sisters, those countries are just as good as Amerikkka. Thus spake Obama and all the multicultural fools who, nevertheless, seem to choose to live right here despite Mozambique, Afghanistan, and Cuba being identical to the USA in every respect. Maybe they just hate “the other.” Especially if the “other” doesn’t have flush toilets, potable water and Starbucks. Or would throw them off a roof and stone them if they lived.

The tedious everything-is-racism plank has passed its sell-by date as well. Throw it out.

The civil rights movement eliminated all legal impediments to success decades ago. Untold billions have been spent to fight “poverty.” And what has changed in the inner cities? That’s because none of these BandAids can cover the wound of fatherlessness. Or make up for one terrible life decision after another.

So what the grievance peddlers are left with is a wholesale attack on “whiteness” itself. This might work with a few intimidated college students and guilty liberals, but it is not going to be a winning strategy for the vast majority of white people who will say:

You want success? Here’s the secret to our white “privilege”: Do what we did — stay in school, work for fifty years, don’t do or sell drugs, don’t commit crime, don’t have babies you have no ability to support, and get married. Speaking on behalf of all white people – since virtually every angry black person feels qualified to speak on behalf of all black people — unless you do those simple, “common-sense” things, we are really no longer interested in anything you have to say. The black people who HAVE done these things are doing fine.