Thoughts from the ammo line

Ammo Grrrll is awarding is going against the grain and awarding XXX-TRA CREDIT!! She writes:

My astute, hard-working colleagues at Power Line are covering the Susan Rice disgrace and all the other important issues of the day. That frees me up to deal with the Left’s Continuing Nervous Breakdown. The latest flapdoodle in Feminist Psycho Ninny World is whether or not men just get too darn much credit for giving women sexual pleasure, thereby somehow “hijacking” women’s orgasms for themselves. Or something. The logic was hard to follow. Me, I’ll take all the pleasure I can get without worrying about credit, but obviously I don’t know what’s important.

What I really worry about, and think should be looked into every day for many, many months, is whether or not the Russians are hijacking our orgasms.

Now, for a great many of the bitter feminists I have known, they could recuse themselves from the entire subject of sex with a man. In fact, many are so relentlessly enraged and unpleasant that I would speculate that what few miserable sexual experiences they have had at all have been alone. I know several sane, sweet lesbians who wouldn’t be interested in that level of rage and negativity any more than a man would. Woohoo, Angry Ladies! You can claim ALL the credit for your orgasms. No sharing credit! You probably don’t share entrees in Chinese restaurants either.

You would think that having a really great time in bed with a man would create a warm feeling of mutual accomplishment or even — dare I say it? — GRATITUDE. But no. NOTHING men do can ever be acknowledged as good. If a feminist asks a man a question and he answers as best he can, he is “mansplaining”. This is bad, and needs to be called out.

Mr. AG has given up on mansplaining how to run the new Blu-Ray DVD player, use the dozens of remotes that seem to reproduce like bunnies, or make my computer behave, because he knows I won’t be listening. I don’t want to know HOW to do it, I want HIM to do it. And in return, I promise not to explain to him how to make perfect Brisket or Coconut Cream Pie. Which includes mile-high Meringue! (The pie, not the brisket.)

If several large, strong hunters sit next to you on a little plane headed for Billings, MT a few days after 9/11, a terrified comic could feel great relief and appreciation at being surrounded by a ton of patriotic testosterone. OR, she could feel that these big guys just take up too much room and are “manspreading.” Another bad thing! And let’s not even get into the horror of one of the men volunteering to put the vertically-challenged comic’s carry-on into the overhead. Sexist beast!

Naturally, morally-superior women have never once sat their shopping bags on the seat next to them on the subway or a carry-on bag on each seat on either side of them in a crowded airport boarding area. And no women are 100 lbs. overweight and taking up inordinate amounts of space on the plane. Only men ever take up too much space.

So back once again to the current crisis of men getting too much credit for our orgasms. Back in the day when I worked with the 80 guys on night shift, a joke went around the shop that made me laugh out loud. It went like this: Question: “Why don’t women have orgasms?” Answer: “Who cares?”

That was more than forty years ago. Evidently, the joke notwithstanding, both men and women DID care if women were having a good time in bed, if only because if women are enjoying themselves in bed, they may be inclined to go there more often.

So millions of column inches of words were spent ‘splaining what might help to increase the chances that the ladies men slept with would have a more satisfying experience. Cosmo alone devoted every single article decade after decade to techniques and practices that were every bit as explicit as Men’s Health, GQ, or even Penthouse. And, if all those noisy, sweaty romantic movies are to be believed, things improved.

Cause for celebration? Certainly not! We can’t have happiness between men and women, in bed or out, can we? That spoils the narrative. So of course men are now getting blamed again. Blamed for not being good enough and blamed for being so good that they take pride in their contribution to women’s happiness and fulfillment. That sounds about right: Heads, men lose; tails, women win. Tedious, but never surprising.


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