Tony the Moocher

A popular meme that went around immediately after the appointment of Anthony Scaramucci channeled the question from the old Queen hit: Can he do the Fandango? The answer is a plain No: Scaramucci is neither Bohemian nor rhapsodic.

Since our new communications director goes by “The Mooch,” perhaps the better pop culture comparison is the classic Cab Calloway tune, “Minnie the Moocher.” So with apologies to Cab Calloway, here’s the updated version:

Folks, here’s a story ’bout Tony the Moocher
He was a red-hot Donald-smoocher
He was the roughest, toughest male
With a West Wing ego as big as a whale

Hi-dee hi-dee hi-dee hi (hi-dee hi-dee hi-dee hi) Whoa-a-a-a-ah (whoa-a-a-a-ah)
Hee-dee-hee-dee-hee-dee-hee (hee-dee-hee-dee-hee-dee-hee)
He-e-e-e-e-e-e-y (he-e-e-e-e-e-e-y)

He messed around with a bloke named Lizza
He loved him though he a wizzah
He took him down to Trashtalktown
And showed him how to kick Bannon around

Hi-dee hi-dee hi-dee hi (hi-dee hi-dee hi-dee hi)
Whoa-a-a-a-ah (whoa-a-a-a-ah)
He-e-e-e-e-e-e-y (he-e-e-e-e-e-e-y)
Oh-oh-oh-oh (oh-oh-oh-oh)

He had a dream about the King of Tweetin’
He gave him things that he was needin’
He gave him a home built of gold and steel
A diamond car with a platinum wheel. . .

In case you need a refresher, here’s Calloway with the original tune, as arranged for The Blues Brothers: