Love Me, I’m a Liberal, Harvey Weinstein Edition

Harvey Weinstein’s pledge to attack the NRA and champion women’s rights in the aftermath of his scandal is such a transparent appeal to ideological partisanship that even liberal ideological partisans are embarrassed (and not buying it).

Weinstein might be better off doing a remake of the old Phil Ochs tune, “Love Me, I’m a Liberal.” Here are my suggested lyrics for Harvey:

I cried when they shot Pretty Woman
Tears ran down my spine
I cried when they shot Pulp Fiction
As though I’d lost a Travolta of mine
But Charlie Sheen got what was coming
He got what he asked for this time
So love me, love me, love me, I’m a liberal

I go to civil rights rallies
And I put down the old N.R.A.
I love Meryl and Ashley and Hillary
I hope every feminist becomes a star
But don’t talk about revolution
That’s going a little bit too far
So love me, love me, love me, I’m a liberal

I cheered when Hillary was chosen
My faith in the system restored
I’m glad the Bernies were thrown out
Of the DNC election board
I love blondes, brunettes and redheads
As long as they don’t find me a boor
So love me, love me, love me, I’m a liberal

The people of Hollywood city
Should all hang their heads in shame
I can’t understand how their minds work
What’s the matter don’t they crave a dame?
But if you ask me to keep my pants zipped up
I’ll make sure to take down your name
So love me, love me, love me, I’m a liberal

I read New Republic and Nation
I’ve learned to take every view
I’ve memorized Atwood and Steinem
And I’ve felt up more than a few
But when it comes to times like Korea
There’s no one more purely blue
So love me, love me, love me, I’m a liberal

I vote for the Democratic Party
They want Donald Trump to be wrong
I go to all the Kanye West concerts
He sure gets me singing those songs
I’ll spend all the money you ask for
Because I grabbed onto your thong
So love me, love me, love me, I’m a liberal

Once I was young and impulsive
I wore every conceivable pin
In time I became repulsive
Learned all the Bill Clinton hymns
But I’ve grown still more impulsive
So I’m turning my casting couch in
So love me, love me, love me, I’m a liberal

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