Thoughts from the ammo line

Ammo Grrrll is celebrating an anniversary working with the four of us who play her straight straight men in THE COLUMN TURNS FOUR. She writes:

Holy Moly, Rocky, what a Big Deal Day! Today at sunset begins the first night of Passover; it is also Good Friday; and, the 4th anniversary of the Thoughts From the Ammo Line column!

In the old Electric Company song, we learned “Two of these things belong together, two of these things are kind of the same. But, one of these things doesn’t belong here…” Okay, the column is not up there with the Flight to Freedom from Egypt or the Crucifixion. Let us just stipulate to that. It’s like saying that Rhode Island is the 3rd biggest state out of Alaska, Texas, and Rhode Island. True, as far as it goes, but misleading.

Since I have never missed a week – neither sloth nor indolence nor dark of night nor ache of head after an adult beverage or two has kept me from my appointed rounds – that means that I have helped kick off your weekends for 208 straight Fridays. It has been my privilege, thanks be to all four Power Line Boys, and a source of great joy for me. Many of you have been kind to remark that you look forward to the columns and that they bring you a small respite from a sad and difficult world, and I have to assure you – again –that you faithful readers and erudite, amusing, regular commenters make MY day, too! Every. Single. Week!

I must especially thank Scott, my friend and dedicated editor, who has spared me many a humiliation in lack of agreement between subject and predicate, and also has spared you dear readers from a few – but only a few – puerile and tasteless jokes. Sadly, the kind I am most drawn to. Most of the time Scott lets me skate on the thin ice; a couple of times he has said, in so many words, “Uh, not on my watch.” Of course, more elegant and lawyerly than that. “I must counsel you that that was beneath you.”

In taking personal stock over the last 208 weeks, it has been a time of incredible highs (our son’s wedding, gaining a ready-made grandson), and the lowest of lows with my beloved mother’s passing. I have lost 40 pounds! More accurately, four separate, crabby times in those four years I have lost that “last” 10 lbs! And regained it within minutes.

I tore a rotator cuff that has almost recovered to, maybe, 70 percent. I am pretty much resigned to the fact that this will be as good as it gets. I plinked in the desert last week and was only able to fire about 250 rounds before my arm and shoulder got fatigued enough to impact accuracy. Many deal with so much worse; I am not complaining. If I am ever in a gun battle that requires more than 250 rounds, it would be a sign that things are not going to end at all well.

I have made several sets of friends from the column – Abby and Ken in Florida; and Mark and Becky in Prescott, Arizona, where we “summer,” and also one set with access to very fancy seats at the Diamondbacks. Not that they wouldn’t be friends without that. But it can’t hurt. Plus, I feel that about 100 of you are now “family.” I worry when you don’t appear!

The Cubs have won the World Series and so did the Houston Astros (hometown favorite of young Brody and Brielle who have yet to learn that the entire point of professional sports is to break your heart!), and Donald J. Trump won the Presidency in the biggest, most historic upset in my lifetime. The ensuing Tsunami of Derangement will provide columns forever.

Ironically enough, the original impetus for this column – my standing in line at Walmart for hundreds of hours during the Great Obama Ammo Drought – has evaporated with President Trump’s election. Ah, humans, especially Americans! When we think something is going to be taken away from us, we try to hoard. When the immediate threat is gone, we feel we can relax. With the election of a President who spoke to the NRA convention, everyone had temporarily relaxed and sales were off to a significant degree. The ammo shelves are full.

But know this: the gun control despots will NEVER give up, as we can see with the well-financed Brain-Dead Blathering Teen Tour.

What IS IT with these scrawny little future tyrants and their sexual imagery? Young muscle-free Mr. Hogg talking about elected officials being “the NRA’S bitches” and childish Mr. Colbert smirking about “c*ckholsters” for Putin. Get some therapy, boys. Or at least some manners.

Obama fantasized aloud about “a million” Obama clones. (Maybe he recently saw Boys from Brazil on Netflix…) Well, sir, to quote Sondheim’s “Send in the Clowns”: Don’t bother, they’re here!: the left-wing indoctrination factories masquerading as schools in all 57 of our states have easily churned out a million lazy, pompous, intolerant bullies and thin-skinned busybodies, long on unwarranted self-esteem and woefully short on knowledge or even curiosity.

My friends, we cannot get demoralized or discouraged. We have to fight. Make it your mission to get at least one new person to join the NRA. Consider becoming a Life Member or making an extra donation to its Legal Fund. Cede NOTHING. I do not want to hear about, I do not want to read about, I do not want you even to THINK: “Oh woe is us; the midterms are lost!” The midterms are seven long months away. If we can’t defeat these potty-mouthed little Tide Pod Snackers, we truly are lost as a nation. We must be the “winter soldiers” of Valley Forge. Watch the John Adams series or D-Day to grasp what was bequeathed to us in sacrifice.

I am a proud American gun owner with a Concealed Carry Permit. As a wee special present to my readers for four years of loyalty, I am going to try to embed a little 48-second video of my shooting at my C2 Tactical Range in Tempe, AZ. I owe big thanks to Joe Malchow, PL’s Tech Wizard. It took an all-male village – Mr. AG, the Paranoid Texan, 3G (Glenn the Gun Guy) and Mr. Malchow to make this happen. Left up to me, I would just have had to come by each of your homes and show you on my phone. Which could have been a lot of fun, too, if somewhat less efficient.

I am using my Sig Sauer P229 Black Elite 9 mm handgun, and shooting from about 35 feet. I did not know that Glenn was taping me or I probably would have done much worse. This exercise was for accuracy and mechanics. Often 3G had me working with a timer for speed. After 10 shots, the target will advance, stop briefly, and then advance again until you can see the grouping. Patience! My fabulous instructor – Glenn Morrison, who you already know is running for Constable in AZ ( – then says, “I asked for a nice group to the head, and you gave it to me.”

Happy Passover! Happy Easter! God Bless America where we can celebrate religious freedom, freedom of speech (both of which the Left also hates and opposes) and the Second Amendment which underwrites all our other freedoms. Courage! Never give up.