Thoughts from the ammo line

Ammo Grrrll had me at her heading: GIRLS (OF BOTH SEXES) GONE VILE! She writes:

As it happened, last week Mr. AG and a friend and I were watching a rerun of Blue Bloods, a series we quite enjoy. There was a scene set in one of those trendy, incredibly loud, incredibly crowded dance clubs that – to me – looks like the 10th Circle of Hell. (I think Dante missed one.) Then there was a VIP Room, an inner sanctum that the Really Kewl Kids aspire to, and outside that door stood a silent bouncer/guard who could have been the largest human any of the three of us had ever seen. He would dwarf Shaq. I kid you not.

He never had a single line of dialogue. Lord knows where they found him, probably in a real club. Mr. AG, himself over six feet, commented, “An ordinary man probably couldn’t even reach his face with his fist.” And Mr. AG has a reach like an orangutan. The script-writers never even pretended that anyone could fight him. He didn’t have to say obscene things or carry a severed head to look badass; he just stood there calmly.

There is a pathetic trend in the last three years for short, muscle-free men to shoot their mouths off with escalating levels of obscenity. I speak of the late night Jimmy clones, interchangeable SNL cogs, the grotesque Mr. Colbert, and degenerate geezer actors like De Niro and Peter Fonda. In the Old West, these (Beta? Zeta?) males would find themselves unconscious on the saloon floor, if not on the losing end of a gunfight or duel. Andrew Jackson famously allowed himself to be shot first, took the round which was lodged near his heart till his last breath, and killed his adversary dead for impugning the reputation of his beloved wife. What might he have done to someone who called his daughter a “gash”?

I am not the first person to note that these Zeta Males, Democrats all, never fail to use anti-gay imagery in their insults. It’s all perfectly kosher if you’re a leftist. It started with actual gay man, Anderson Cooper, who saddled Tea Party activists with “Tea Bagger.” Colbert referred to the President as providing a “c*ckholster” for Putin. I’d pay good money to fly Colbert to Russia and watch him say it to Putin in Russian.

As I write these words, there is a concerted attack once again implying that Senator Graham is gay and subject to blackmail. I neither know nor care whether Senator Graham is gay; he denies it, and after his masterful performance in the Kavanaugh hearings, I won’t be criticizing him for many years, least of all for what he might do in his private life.

And what of the women? It is mortifying to me that most of these ranting harpies “identify as” comediennes. Except for the scrawny pitchman for potties shlepping the severed head, I can’t even tell them apart. I’ve never heard a single one of them say anything FUNNY. Mean, yes. Nasty political commentary, at times. But not FUNNY. And always, always, obscene.

See, I KNOW funny. And I’m not a tough audience. Ask anyone who knows me, including my son. When someone would say something amusing and I would laugh my trademark cross between a shriek and a bray, often the person would say with some pride, “Wow, I made a professional comedian laugh!” And my son, if he was present, would say, “Mom laughs at everything!”

Neither is it just that I disagree with the women politically. I do, but it’s not why I don’t laugh. I found Jon Stewart quite amusing even when I disagreed with him. He had FUNNY things to say, with surprising punchlines, which is the essence of humor. I think Ellen is very funny. I have met her a couple different times and she is also a very nice person.

So what’s up with all the “F” bombs and worse coming from the women “comics” and women politicians alike? They obviously believe they are demonstrating toughness with soap-worthy mouths and vicious attacks on their (approved) targets. They aren’t tough. They are spoiled overpaid bullies. The second there is any sort of return fire, they either start bawling or run for the Race and Sex Cards in their fat purses.

Saying tasteless things as SNL’s Sarah Beattie did, promising oral sex to any thug who would hit the MAGA-hatted Catholic teenager, is not tough when there are neither consequences for bartering for hired battery nor a means to compel performance of that promise. What would YOU do if she solicited battery against YOUR son? This crap has GOT to STOP. She needs to be prosecuted to the full extent of the law for solicitation of not just prostitution, but battery for hire. Criminal and civil cases. And fired from SNL. Enough! What are the chances in New York?

Enough with the fake tough girls. Tough is my paternal grandmother who bore six children and was a Gold Star Mother. Tough is Nikki Haley in the face of universal hatred from the General Assembly of the UN. Tough is Ayaan Hirsi Ali who risks her life every day and is “disinvited” by colleges as a speaker, for the sin of speaking truth to cowards.

Tough is Michelle Malkin who has to hire bodyguards for her threatened children. Tough is Sarah Sanders fielding hostile, repetitive “questions” (def: tedious bloviating speeches) from a gaggle of lacquered lackeys who have just received their talking points du jour from the DNC. Tough was my late friend Ruth, battling metastasized breast cancer for 13 years. I have broken into two all- or mostly-male professions, have stood on stage for an hour armed only with a microphone, and am pretty handy with a gun. Yet I am a pitiful CREAM PUFF next to the women I have named. And probably many women you know as well.

Caterwauling and scratching on the doors of the Supreme Court in silly little bonnets and Handmaid’s costumes, pretending to be oppressed, does not make it so. Never in the history of the world have women had more opportunities or freedom than in 2019 America.

The humorless mean girls who think saying “MF” or “feckless c” is evidence of toughness are wrong. They aren’t very bright and have confused vulgarity and bad manners with true grit. They risk absolutely nothing. The leftist cultural gatekeepers protect their own. It’s going to be a long, potty-mouthed slog until November of 2020. Better invest in a good pair of earmuff ear protectors suitable for a construction site or the tactical range.

Mr. AG calls his ear protectors his “wife-suppressors.” Now, THAT’S funny!