Bernie: Get Well Soon

It is hard to have a lighthearted take on the news on a day like this, but this story begs for it:

Bernie Sanders gets 7 stitches after cutting head on shower door

Sen. Bernie Sanders (I-Vt.) got seven stitches Friday after he cut his head on a shower door. Politico reports Sanders was given a “clean bill of health” and the minor injury did not interrupt his campaigning.

Politico noted the campaign told the outlet that Sanders cut his head on the corner of the glass shower door but did not fall.

Now I know what you’re thinking: a bang on the head could only improve Sanders. But you should resist that default idea and stick with the important questions, such as: Was this shower designed by the same person who designed Harry Reid’s hazardous bathroom? Have Amy Klobuchar’s whereabouts at the time of the “accident” been ascertained? Isn’t this just the kind of thing you’d expect when members of Congress exempt themselves from OSHA regulations?

I’m sure there’s nothing wrong with Bernie’s shower door that a 70 percent income tax rate won’t fix.

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