So we have sports back, starting with major league baseball in empty stadiums, but with artificial crowd noise piped into TV broadcasts as if the game is an unfunny sitcom or something. And in one sense it is an unfunny sitcom, since so many players seem intimidated into the political exhibitionism of kneeling for the national anthem. Here’s a thought: if we want to get real crowds into stadiums, let’s label the games as “BLM protests” instead, since they are exempt from the social distancing rules. The crowd can sing the Black national anthem during the 7th inning stretch, or perhaps a new tune—”Take Me Out to the Riot”—can be specially composed. The kneeling players are already doing their part. (By the way, has anyone checked into the cardboard cutouts some stadiums are using to make sure they are correctly diverse? Asking for a friend. Also: how will the “Washington Football Team” song go now?)
Headlines of the week:
Well maybe, but just in case here’s my mask:
And finally. . .