Thoughts from the ammo line

Ammo Grrrll makes another EXCELLENT CHOICE! She writes:

I have dim but fond memories of eating in a restaurant. And part of that pleasure is being complimented on my unique ability to pick a quality item from a menu. When presented with the evening’s specials by oral recitation, for instance, I am able to weigh the options of “Roast Loin of Pork” (no), “Filet Mignon in a Blueberry Reduction” (no, just no), and “Colorado lamb chops with Garlic and Rosemary.”

“I will have the lamb chops, please.”

And then I hear those magic words, “EXCELLENT CHOICE, Ma’am!”

I have often wondered how far afield I would have to go to be denied that compliment. “Uh, yes, I’d like the chef to make me a special dish of Chicken Feet with a Mango Chutney served on a bed of Liver, Arugula, and Lima Beans.” “Excellent choice, ma’am!”

Thinking about this peculiar restaurant ritual put me in mind of the tens of thousands of personal CHOICES we make in a lifetime, of just how much power is in our own hands. One time perhaps 20 years ago I was entertaining at some educational conclave in Minneapolis. Sessions had been going on all morning and I showed up about noon for my set at the end of the afternoon. There was a hubbub in the lobby as several people were gathered around an older black gentleman who was livid almost to the point of tears.

What, I wondered, had made him so upset? Had someone said that black children couldn’t learn? That black children could not be responsible for their own decisions, their own lives?

No, that was not it. It was quite the opposite, in fact. He was adamant that without white people admitting that racism alone was to blame for everything bad in their young lives, that black youth would have no one to blame when they failed. I am serious. He NEEDED racism to justify every bad outcome. Act up in school and get sent to the principal’s office? Obvious racism! Smoke crack instead of doing homework? Racism again! He needed white people to understand that his people were totally helpless in the face of systemic racism, that there was not one thing they could do to improve their chances of success. Nothing has changed, except for the worse. That is now the official Democrat credo on race.

Here are a few examples of hypothetical human beings making voluntary selections from The Great Menu of Life. Let’s see how the left and right would respond.

“I am a teenager without much spending money. The neighborhood drug kingpin has offered me $500/week plus all the weed I want to be a lookout to warn him about the cops. Just think of all the fun I could have with $500/week! I have decided to work for him.”

Democrat: “Excellent choice! What could possibly go wrong there? In fact, because of all the prison sentences doled out to black drug dealers over the years, all drugs should be immediately legalized and black people alone should able to sell them. Of course, then the kingpin wouldn’t need a lookout, but this young man could have a sales territory instead.”

Trump voter: “That is NOT an excellent choice. You will probably either be killed by a rival gang or someone in your own ‘hood angling for your job. Or, since heroin is unlikely to be legalized any time soon, you will eventually become what Obama termed a ‘Justice-Involved Youth.’ What normal humans refer to as a ‘felon.’ Stay in school. Learn a useful skill. Stay away from crime! You will eventually earn much more than $500/week.”

“I am a 25-year old man who just got my main girlfriend pregnant. I already have one Baby Mama, who was just a one-night stand, but I actually kind of love this other girl. What should I do – stick around for a few months, or maybe get, like, married, or what?”

Democrats: “Getting trapped in a cis-normative relationship in which you assume full responsibility for a wife and new baby is stupid. You can terminate the baby or cut and run and the government will be your girlfriend’s baby daddy! This will turn her into the most reliable Democrat voter on earth. Why should YOU do what the taxpayers should do in a fair world? You are OWED this. Never doubt that. No hurry, though. You can still decide on the termination option when labor pains are 3 minutes apart.”

Trump Voter: “Marriage is an excellent choice! Yes, having irresponsible sex was a mistake, but now a baby is on the way, and it is not too late to do the right thing. Many a lasting and happy family has been formed when people from fine families have found themselves in a similar situation. Congratulations on taking the first step toward becoming a responsible man. As an added bonus, by getting married you will have taken one of the surest paths to tilting the odds toward a secure financial future.”

“I am a 42-year old white woman named Karen Karenina. I live on alimony in the large suburban house I got in the second divorce. I have multiple degrees, but I don’t work. It’s a personal statement to protest womyn only making 79% of what men make. During this COVID-19 pandemic, which came from Europe and no way should be blamed on China, I have been spending night and day screaming at people for not wearing masks, except for People of Color who don’t have to wear them because…reasons. Yesterday, I was forced to scream at a man of color anyway. He WAS wearing a mask, but he was also wearing a MAGA hat! I have decided that I am well-qualified to advise People of Color on how they should vote because one of my majors was Ethnic Intersectional Studies.”

Democrats: “Excellent choice, ma’am. Sometimes, no matter how articulate and clean black people seem, or how nicely their trousers are creased, they cannot always be counted on to vote how we tell them to. That is why we harvest their votes lest they inadvertently mess it up. Your spittle-flecked screamfest could be just the ticket to convincing this wayward man to mend his ways. Don’t feel guilty about yelling at people of color who fail to live up to your expectations. You can always grovel later, kiss their boots, wash their feet, stuff like that.”

Trump voters: “By all means, keep harassing people of any color or gender who are wearing MAGA hats. There are many inspiring YouTube videos to show how well it always ends.”

Well, I’m off to the grocery store as soon as I finish this “death threat” to myself so that I also might merit a taxpayer-funded security force. What a neat trick, Minneapolis City Council! Defund the police and then get other people to pay to protect you, you, you. Oh well. It’s Minneapolis, Jake. The State Bird is the Loon. That is the emes (truth), my hand to God. “Minnesota: Come for the Lutefisk. Stay for the looting!”