Thoughts from the ammo line

Ammo Grrrll contemplates our dystopian present in A BRAVE NEW WORLD RUN BY WEEPING NINNIES. She writes:

So young actress Ellen Page is the latest to become a man! He’s “Elliott” now and his pronouns are – “he/they”? Whatever. Wikipedia has already scrubbed her entry – Ellen Page does not exist and never has. I saw her Ellen picture side by side with her Elliott picture (Ellen in a baseball cap). I have never seen a human who looks LESS like a male. She makes Richard Simmons look like Russell Crowe. Honey, that baseball cap did the trick about as well as a strapless evening gown on Willie Nelson would help him become Wilhelmina Nelson.

Now, BEFORE this, Ellen had come out as a lesbian, and married another woman. Wikipedia said his wife was just fine with this bait-and-switch, which I find odd because I know many lesbians. Lesbians differ in personal traits as much as straight women. But one of the distinguishing features of all the lesbians I have known is that they are sexually attracted to OTHER WOMEN, and not men. No, really. They are quite inflexible on this point. The next step is ALWAYS for the newly-minted “guy” to grow some kind of stupid facial hair. Perhaps Elliott is hoping to star in the next Woke Gillette shaving commercial

Now write this down and take it to the bank: After the beard deal, Elliott’s next big move will be to “come out” as a GAY man. Otherwise, he’s just another garden-variety toxic white male, and where’s the entitlement and publicity value in THAT? Heck, even declaring himself to identify as black wouldn’t earn any Brownie points. We have it on good authority from the intersectionalist lunatics that in the Oppression Olympics black men are just the “white males” of the black community. No sane person could make that up.

So Elliott eventually has to be GAY. Again. When Elliott does “become” a gay MAN, he will presumably want to be with another man. Again, a major component of male homosexuality. Which puts Ellen/Elliott right back where she started – having sex with men! Full circle! Only with fewer, uh, options, depending on what has become of any former lady bits. Perhaps his wife will become a man, too. And why not? But this is all “normal” and we Boomer Bigots are just wrong to make any kind of fun of it. Hey, if you can’t fight it, join it, right?

From this day forward, call me “Elmer,” since Ishmael is already taken. Elmer is manly and old-timey and suits me right down to the ground. No hip names like Kaden (blessings be upon any real Kadens) or Caitlyns, Chelseas, or other cutesie-pie modern names that aging attention-junkie Gender Fluids seem to choose for themselves instead of the more age-appropriate Mabel, Bertha or Tom, Dick, and Harry.

NEVER say “Tickle Me Elmer” either. There is no kidding around in my new world. It is critical when you are attempting to remove all traces of oppressive assigned gender that you remove anything resembling a “funny bone.” And no “bone” jokes either. I HEAR your Bad Thoughts way over here, so cut it out or face Bad Thought Re-Education Camp. (I’m lookin’ at YOU, all 3 regular Tony commenters!) My pronouns are me/them as in “Everything is about ME, ME, ME. But, nothing is me fault – it’s all on THEM.”

Me am so BRAVE me can hardly stand meself. There is nothing braver than making a declaration that automatically vaults you to the top of the Favored Teensy Minority Totem Pole and makes you 100 percent criticism-proof. After declaring yourself thrilled and brave, you confess in a lugubrious open letter that you are also just a little “terrified.” Because of the rampant murder of transgender people, ESPECIALLY those of color, which, of course, you are not. Please, Elliott, spare us the silly notion that transgenders are being hunted wholesale, probably by alt-right domestic terrorists who voted for President Trump in his stolen landslide. Even Elliott claims there are but 40 murdered transgenders!

Yes, out of over 13,000 murder victims in 2019, 7,484 of them black, it seems that 40 transsexual or transvestite hookers possibly got killed by their johns who were expecting one thing and got another and didn’t take false advertising well. Or maybe killed by their boyfriends or pimps. Or maybe killed in a robbery gone wrong. Details don’t matter. It’s a murder plague! If all 40 were black, that would mean one-half of one percent of murdered African-Americans were transgenders. ONE is too many, but it’s no plague either.

It’s long past time that we stop agreeing to play along. We are nice people who do not enjoy being unkind to the mentally ill or con artists. But it is critical to our personal and collective sanity eventually to say, “That emperor has no flippin’ clothes on. I will not say things that I know to be untrue and you can’t make me. Now get the hell out of my bathroom.”

See, if they can make you assert that a tiny little actress who puts on a baseball cap and declares herself a man, IS – and always HAS BEEN — a man, then they can also make you declare that there was no election fraud despite MOUNTAINS and TSUNAMIS of evidence to the contrary. We are pretty close to an innumerate society currently, so the math probabilities of having an after-hours vote dump of 600,000 votes for Biden vs. a few hundred for Trump makes no impression on the CNN viewer dodo heads.

They can make you believe that you can get the Wuhan Flu riding your bike alone on the beach or having 11 people at your Thanksgiving instead of 10, or being out after 10:00, which is the witching hour when the Wuhan Virus chooses to cavort and infect. Sciencey!

Finally, Abigail Shrier has written the book, Irreversible Damage: The Transgender Craze Seducing Our Daughters about the alarming ACTUAL plague of teenage girls taking drastic measures to fit in with the transgender fad. Naturally, the book itself is being strangled in its crib. By distributors and even at the publishers, where weeping ninny employees want no part of it because it will make the trans community feel “unsupported.” Really?

Cry me a river. Try being a Christian, a religious Jew, a white male, a black woman conservative, or a Hispanic male Trump voter. Every single day books are published, “art” is produced, movies are rolled out, television shows for pedophiles air that do not SUPPORT any of our values, but, in fact, attack and demean everything we hold dear.

And we do not holler for censorship, but only for the freedom to disagree. Which is routinely denied. So suck it up, crying ninnies. I would fire every last one of you. “There’s no crying in baseball,” and there’s no crying in the adult working world. It’s emotional blackmail and utterly unprofessional. Also, just sayin’, thoroughly “un-feminist.” Thank God I am now Elmer. I was ashamed to share your gender. Oh, I haven’t run the Elmer deal past Max yet and anticipate some fierce resistance. Susan will likely return next week. Until then, as a straight white male, I intend to oppress as many people as I possibly can in a week! FUN!