Thoughts from the ammo line

Ammo Grrrll IF TRUE. She writes:

Two horrendous phrases barged their way into the common lexicon during the opposition to President Trump, his Supreme Court nominees and especially with the wretched #MeToo Movement: “credibly accused” was the first one, effectively supplanting “innocent until proven guilty,” and the second was “if true.”

Here’s how “if true” worked. There would be a wild rumor, touted endlessly on CNN and MSNBC. Someone would say it — for example, that a Presidential candidate who was a NOTORIOUS germophobe had urinated on a bed in Russia — then the “media” would have to “investigate” it because someone had said it. Then as it would start to fall apart, the brainless news-heads would assert, “Yeah, but, IF TRUE, that would be a very bad thing.”

You betcha. I heard (from a guy on a bus) that Joe Biden has regular sex with his dog, which is how he got injured when the dog tried to fend off his advances, even after Joe had gone to the trouble of showering for the occasion. Inspired by Harvey Weinstein, he also tried to get the cat to watch him shower, with no luck. Okay, I have no real evidence except he admitted to chasing his dog and pulling its tail and then he got hurt. And, IF TRUE, that would be really icky. Not that there’s anything abby-normal about the Man-Dog Love Association. As long as you get a certificate from PETA that the dog has given consent.

The standard for what could maybe be “credibly” true has fallen so low as to be no standard at all. A gay black actor that not 12 white people in America had ever heard of could call the cops on a frigid night in Chicago and accuse two white men who recognized him in the dark, of throwing bleach on him. All racists just carry rope and bleach on spec, it’s well known, especially in -25 below zero weather. The miscreants of pallor called him a bad name suggestive of gay leanings and also threw a noose around his neck. And they also warned him that “This is MAGA country!”? Chicago! Famous bastion of Trump support.

The story broke down in about 10 minutes for anyone with a brain, including black people like Charles Barkley and Shaq, but our current West Virginia land-mine activist Vice President, at least one Senator, Spartacus of New Jersey – and an otherwise pleasant and sane news personality, Robin Roberts – all rushed to the defense of this charlatan and Senator Spartacus suggested that we needed NEW, tougher lynch laws. Never mind that there WAS no lynching, no beating, one tiny cut on Jussie’s pretty face. He didn’t even drop his sammich. Somehow the would-be MAGA lynchers even allowed him to make a phone call during the incident, surely a first for a lynch “mob.”

To this day, Jussie has never been forced to pay for the extensive investigation of that famous “Hate Crime,” or even to admit he faked the whole thing, including paying black friends (by check!) to pretend to beat him up. He still had the noose around his neck and the sandwich in his hand when the cops got there. Oh, the humanity. Can you imagine if a white actor had made up a similar story about two black attackers and it was proven to be a giant racist lie?

I believe that “if true” that Kamala Harris had slept her way into government “service” by boinking a married politician, humiliating his wife by carrying on right in public, that that would set a terrible example for young girls everywhere on how to get ahead.

Oh wait, that is TOTALLY TRUE!! Willie Brown’s wife famously pointed out that although Kamala may be the one running around with him, when it came time for Willie to take his oath of office, SHE, the wife would “be the b—– holding the Bible for him.” Well, alrighty then. Fighting over Willie Brown puts me in mind of many a Jerry Springer episode where two women went at each other competing for the favors of some obvious loser missing major teeth and sporting a nearly-clean wife-beater undershirt. But, WHY, ladies? Why?

Circling back – or, more accurately, “circling the wagons” – we come to the fate of one Andrew Cuomo. What a world we live in! One minute you are accepting an Emmy for a book about how great you did with the COVID crisis. You are being touted as a possible back-up Presidential candidate in the unlikely event that Hidin’ Biden would call a young female citizen a “lying, dog-faced pony soldier” or mistake his wife for his sister or be unable to remember how many grandchildren he had, or to fail to recall Obama’s name and refer to him instead as “my boss.” Oh wait, again! All those things happened!

Well, anyway, once Creepy Porn Lawyer Avenatti, who was on CNN at least 2,760 times, was cast aside as a contender just because he stole money from his vulnerable clients, all eyes turned to Andrew Cuomo to save the Democrats from certain defeat.

Here’s a lesson he probably should have put on Post-It Notes all over his house and office: “It’s okay to lie about the President and the help he gave you around COVID. It’s okay to hustle every female within your, uh, reach. But DO NOT kill the elderly parents of important Democrats.” You can only cry “Russian disinformation campaign” so many times, and not when the bereaved Democrats are standing over the caskets of their parents who expected to live in their nice Assisted Living units for many more happy years.

So Andrew has got to go. BUT it’s awkward to try to get him for his inept, if deadly, actions around COVID. Because SEVERAL governors, all with big fat D’s after their names, did virtually the same thing. How can we placate the angry Democrat children of the dead elderly New Yorkers without implicating many of our own? Ah, the ever-useful #MeToo weapon! Always available, always at the ready.

And here comes the Parade of Horrors – purloined kisses, touches on bare backs, bawdy talk, inquiries about whether a young lady has ever experienced older men – one, two, five, seven, how many accusers will it take before the plug is pulled? You’ve heard of Ready Reserve in your bank account – there must be a National Ready Reserve of offended and pawed women who have worked for all the media stars, politicians, movie stars, directors and producers. They all have stories they are itching to tell for their 15 minutes of fame.

I am 100 percent consistent in my attitude toward #MeToo. I think ALL the Cuomos are creepy, arrogant, spoiled, entitled jerks. But I have little to no interest in tardy accusations of very minor incidents. I do not believe all women. My Lived Experience has made me very cynical and I believe very few. Oh, I believe things happened because Cuomo is a horndog…but I also believe they put up with it – sometimes encouraged it – if it benefited them at the time. Will the belated charges be decisive? Cuomo is a fighter. Stay tuned.

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