The Washington Post offers up some especially syrupy fan service today, writing about John “Long Face” Kerry. You have to read it not to believe it (extra funny bits in bold):
John F. Kerry was on a 757 government plane in November 2016, en route to Antarctica to observe scientists studying the impact of climate change, when he learned that Donald Trump would be the next president.
There, high above the ocean, the then-secretary of state realized that an achievement central to the Obama administration, and to his own legacy, would almost certainly be dismantled. . .
These days, Kerry, at 77 and serving as President Biden’s climate envoy, is flying commercial, catching red-eyes to Europe and meeting with heads of state from France to India, trying once again to cement the United States as a world leader on climate action — and, not incidentally, salvage the fight he has long considered central to his own stamp on history. . . the assignment itself — helping to steer the nation and world toward a less calamitous future than scientists have warned awaits as climate change intensifies — is one he views as more critical than ever. . .
The man who was a military hero at 25, who was almost president, who served as a senator for 28 years, who thought his last public job was as secretary of state under President Barack Obama, will begin finding out this week what it might take to persuade other countries to emulate Biden’s ambitious climate goals.
Kerry’s supporters say he’s well-positioned for the job in part because so much of it involves convincing allies that they can rely on United States after the Trump years.
“I just literally cheered when I got the news about his appointment,” said Al Gore, who after losing the 2000 presidential election poured his energy into a Nobel Prize-winning climate change campaign and has been in frequent touch with Kerry.
Is there any mental picture more lugubrious than Al Gore on the phone with John Kerry talking about climate change? I wonder if they ever compare carbon footprints for their multiple luxury residences? And is Kerry going to drag James Taylor with him to any of these meetings to sing “You’re Got a Friend” again?
One bit of dialogue I am sure has taken place: Gore (who “was almost president,” as the Post might remind us)—”John, it’s a shame you have to fly commercial to all these important meetings. Can’t you get Joe to add some carbon offsets to the infrastructure bill so you can fire up the private jet again? I’d lend you some of mine but they’re all stuck in a lock box leftover from my 2000 campaign.”