Thoughts from the ammo line


Evidently in the past, the “masses” had more intestinal fortitude and pitiless honesty than our current citizenries. They picked some doozies of monikers for their leaders, names that got into the history books. Some of them were either just descriptive or benign – Leif the Lucky, Eric the Red come to mind. Others were downright complimentary: Good Queen Bess, and Catherine the Great, not to mention Thelma the Terrific, a minor princess in Bohemia, or possibly, a woman I just made up.

But my favorites are the unflattering nicknames. The French seem to be especially good at this, which figures. Nobody can do a peevish, sour look like the French. For example, there is Louis the Fat. As someone who has routinely been 10-20 pounds overweight for at least 50 years, I have a certain amount of sympathy for a king whose most salient feature is his blubber.

By the way, slightly off topic, but I had a great idea the other day while standing in the checkout line at Walmart. And I use “THE” checkout line advisedly and with great annoyance. Despite making billions hand over fist during the lockdowns, God forbid there should EVER be a sufficient number of checkout persons to handle the customers. I would hate for the Walmart scions to lose even a penny of what they get annually, if it meant paying another two or three checkout persons minimum wage to staff those counters.

So I was behind several people with overflowing baskets and I noticed that they were all severely overweight, which is unusual for Walmartians (heavy sarcasm). I thought it would be marketing genius to make the checkout lines into treadmills so we could all walk in place for the time it takes to get to the front of the line. You’re welcome, Walmart. You would win a prize from Mrs. Obama, had she not recently retired from public life.

But, moving along with historical names. In the parade of Loser Louies, there’s my favorite, Louis the Feeble. As America is quickly discovering, that’s about the worst thing you could call a head of state who doesn’t want that state to be trampled by enemies and overrun by invaders.

We are currently witnessing a vast horde of non-white people who are willing to throw their babies over a high fence and risk life and limb – just to get into what is routinely described by Democrats and Chinese Commies as the most racist hellhole on Planet Earth. Odd fact, that. People of color are racing to get into White Supremacy Central. Even the Chinese get to call out our putative racism. The Uighurs have yet to weigh in, being too busy as professional organ donors, often before they were finished using the organs.

Then there’s not just the dissed, but the disgusting: Take Ivan the Terrible. Please. Rim shot!

When you ponder the wretched parade of despicable, evil Czars, to say nothing of Tsars (both are popular crossword spellings), exactly how bad do you have to BE to merit the nickname of “the Terrible”? That’s some high czar bar. The Jews in particular in Mother Russia would pray for the health and long life of their current murderous, despotic czar in the realistic fear based on generational experience that, bad as he was, the next guy would probably be even worse.

How fortunate then, are we Americans, that we have finally scraped the absolute bottom of the barrel? We have Joe the Feeble, Terrible, Obviously Demented, Hair-Sniffing Cipher who is also a Pathological Liar, Influence-Peddler AND a wholly-owned subsidiary of China!

And waiting in the wings, oh happy day, the First Tannish-Beige Person of Unwhiteness Who Is Also A Person Without A Penis. At least for now. Which, let me clarify lest I get kicked off social media, is NOT AT ALL to suggest that SOME women don’t have penises. I know several women who own phallus equipment. Batteries sold separately.

The Diverse Diverseness of all that Sacred Diversity has me all a-quiver. Remember: “Diversity is our Strength,” though not a single babbler of that inane phrase can offer one reason why that is true. From the Roman phalanxes to the Radio City Rockettes, there has also been “Strength in Uniformity.” Also for a few centuries in America, there has been Strength in Excellence, no matter what color or gender that excellence came in.

I don’t know if Kamala is also the first co-President (in the Biden-Harris Administration) to fail the Bar Exam or not. But who needs to ace a written exam when you’ve done so well on your Orals? And how excited was America to have her chosen with virtually no qualifications other than being a Woman of Some Vague Non-White Color, and the only woman in America with a worse laugh than Hillary’s?

Well, she garnered upwards of 2-3% of the votes in the DEMOCRAT Primary, so even other people of color clearly rejected her in favor of the demented old white time-server with the crack-head son. Democrats had the opportunity to vote for a rich fake Native American, a rich young man married to another man, a rich fake Mexican with a made-up Spanish nickname, just to name a few of the special kinda sorta Diverse folks that were on offer. And, instead, they stunned the world by picking Joe Biden, a rich old white kleptocrat.

During the Basement Campaign, Joe the Stair Master (and Blank Stare Master) came out like Punxsutawney Phil to nibble on his wife’s hand, to confuse her with his own sister, and to fail to guess the number of his own grandchildren. Hey, grandpas out there, I would bet the ranch (if I had a ranch) that there’s not ONE of you who can’t tell us the number, sex, and probably even the birthdays of each and every one of your grandkids. Not to mention their preferred pronouns! (When very young, it’s mostly just “me, my, and mine.”)

As we begin our eighth year together, let us fervently pray that Joe the Feeblest soon resigns to spend more time with those grandchildren until such time as he can accurately count them. No, Kamala the Kackler will not be any better, but maybe at least she might not try to start a war with Russia over the Ukraine. To the best of my knowledge, she doesn’t have any offspring who pretend to work for and are lavishly paid by any industries in the Ukraine.

And seeing President Kamala cackling away in the Oval Office would be like a dagger in Hillary’s heart. So there’s that…and she would obviously do such a terrible job that even cheating on a scale never seen before could not re-elect her in 2024.

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