Thoughts from the ammo line

Ammo Grrrll explains RELENTLESS SCHNORRING as a Business Model. She writes:

Schnorring is a Yiddish word for very aggressive begging. Both parties do it. But, at least for now, I am registered as a member of the Republican Party, so that is what I will be discussing. During election “season,” I get probably 100 daily texts, calls, and emails from the Party. Even during the merciful two or three weeks before the start of the NEXT campaign, I get somewhere in the neighborhood of 20 emails and 10 texts A DAY.

Some obscenely overpaid consultant has obviously conducted a seminar hitting every major psy-ops persuasion technique known to man in the eternal quest to separate me from my hard-earned money. And believe me, I am very small potatoes, barely a Tater Tot. I can only imagine the pleas and bribes for the major donors. “I think I can get you an ambassadorship to Uganda. I know you wanted to be the US Ambassador to the United Nations, because the restaurants in New York are so much better than the one in Uganda, but I’m afraid the Democrats have promised that to legendary billionaire Conservative Biden supporter, Cindy McCain.”

I will quote EXACTLY what they send me on my phone and computer in Bold and put my subsequent thoughts in Italics. The Schnorrers will begin on a positive note, namely, the desire almost all of us have to sit with the cool kids in the lunchroom, in other words, STATUS:

“Picture this, Susan: Trump opens his birthday card and your name is the first one he sees.”

That’s gonna be one heckuva birthday card with millions of names, and right there at the top of this encyclopedic card, in honor of my $20 contribution, will be Susan Vass. Sure, I believe that. I also believe that I can lose 10 lbs. by next Friday by not changing a thing in my diet, but by simply drinking several cups of green tea a day, as the latest issue of my favorite ladies’ magazine promises. Anyhow, I am planning on GAINING 30 more lbs. to get my chance to be a Woke Victoria’s Secret model. Short, fat & elderly – equity, Baby, equity!

Okay, that didn’t work. Let’s move on to the FRIENDLY REMINDER:

“Are you a Trump Supporter, Susan? You’re inactive! If 99 patriots chip in $35 & change status to active, GOP flips the House.”

WAIT A MINUTE! I thought I was such a famous supporter that I could conceivably merit being the first name on the card. Here’s an idea, guys – how ‘bout you flip the House FIRST and THEN I will give you $35? I didn’t pay my kids BEFORE they mowed the lawn. After the first few times. See also: Football, Lucy.

Then, how quickly they move on to something perilously close to THREATS.

Final Notice: If you still stand with Trump show it! There’s only 12 spots left and we won’t ask you to sign his birthday card, again, Susan!

Does this work, guys? I can’t wait to try it on VWAM. “There are only 5 books left! We won’t ask you to buy again! This is your last chance! No, seriously, we really MEAN it. Act before midnight or we won’t even LET you buy a book! No more books for YOU. Even if you BEG.”

Perhaps others respond better than I do to ultimatums. Next, they give GUILT a shot:

“Ignore this & we know you left Trump, Susan. Chip in $10 w/in next 10 mins to defend Trump’s legacy. We need 99 patriots to step up.”

Good grief! You JUST told me you won’t ask again…can I believe ANYTHING you say?

Moving straight on to SHAME:

“Susan, the media insists Pres. Trump’s supporters have abandoned him & you’re proving them right! If we don’t get 7 more people to sign his birthday card in the next hour, we won’t reach our goal! Don’t make us ask again.”

I PROMISE I’m not the one making you ask again. Nor am I the one who made up some hypothetical “goal.” Well, that birthday passed, as all birthdays must. So now they have been HOUNDING me to give them money in case Trump gets a Twitter competitor site up and running. You think “hounding” is too strong? They have kept track:

“This is ridiculous, Susan. Will you join Trump’s new site? We’ve texted you 13x. Fail to respond=Trump knows you’ve abandoned him.”

13x? I think that’s called STALKING. I never used Twitter – why would I use a different site to take pictures of my food or harass someone who failed to ask about my pronouns? Hold the phone! I may be a wretched abandoner, but they’ve given me another chance! There’s ANOTHER birthday coming up. Oh, happy day!

“Open immediately. Melania Trump’s birthday is almost here! We need 1,000,000 Patriots to sign her card. Add your name here, Susan.”

And also: “You were one of 15 Patriots chosen for a 600% match. Fail to use it by 11:59 and it expires and will go to waste.”

How stupid does the Republican Party think we are? As columnist Derek Hunter of TownHall noticed last January: “Most of these emails come with the promise of a 350% match, which begs the question: if someone is willing to turn a $100 donation into a $450 donation, why don’t they just give the $350 and leave people alone? Why is it conditional on other suckers giving? That’s because it’s not real, of course…”

And never ONCE have I felt that these boiler room boys were GRATEFUL for my contribution. They just want MORE, MORE, MORE. They never produce a budget or say where the money is going. For example, Ilhan Omar funneled over $3 Million to the company of her latest non-relative husband. So, I’m pretty much done contributing. Show me some results. Gratitude is in even shorter supply than integrity in politics. And that’s saying a lot.