Shamala: The real thing

I want to add a few notes to my comments in “Fakin’ it: Shamala edition.” Herewith, as William Buckley might have said, 10 additional notes and queries:

• “The most important thing is honesty. Once you can fake that, you’ve got it made.” The quote is attributed to various wits. It gets at an eternal aspect of democratic politics. Kamala cannot fake honesty. She cannot fake sincerity. Her fakery is the most transparent thing about her.

• The ludicrous space video is a professional production in every respect. Harris has retained consultants to help humanize her. She needs the help, but she is beyond help.

• The video might be used productively on our remaining terrorist detainees at Guantánamo Bay Detention Camp. However, I seriously doubt it could pass muster under the strictures against torture.

• I can’t get over Harris’s voice in the video. In places it sounds like the the real fake Harris. I certify the cackle as the real fake Harris. In places Harris’s voice sounds like a fake fake Harris. Did producer Sinking Ship Entertainment use a voiceover actress? Like Marni Nixon for Natalie Wood in West Side Story and Audrey Hepburn in My Fair Lady?

• Harris doesn’t need a voiceover artist. She needs a therapist and a personality transplant.

• Okay, she could use a voiceover artist. Her tone of voice is grating in its singsong condescension. She cannot help but patronize her audience, whether children or adults.

• Taxpayer dollars must have funded the production. What did the whole project cost?

• Sticking with the space theme of the video, I turn to Jackie Gleason to express my reaction: “Bang! Zoom! You’re going to the moon!”

• Henry Fielding parodied Samuel Richardson’s epistolary novel Pamela in Shamela (i.e., An Apology for the Life of Mrs. Shamela Andrews (“In which the many notorious falsehoods of a book called Pamela are exposed and refuted,” written under the pen name Conny Keyber). For Shamela we are indebted to Fielding.

• I would like to say Fielding! thou shouldst be living at this hour… Fielding was a genius, but I think Kamala would exceed even his grasp. Kamala cannot be parodied. She is a walking parody.

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