Thoughts from the ammo line

Steve and I have both weighed in on the six-month search for a bad spin on MAGA. Now it’s Ammo Grrrll’s turn to explore the PROCESS behind the marketing genius that produced Ultra MAGA. She has somehow obtained a transcript of the focus group assembled to do the work as she takes us deep inside the SIX MONTHS OF “RESEARCH” to BESMIRCH. She writes:

A crack team of “researchers” assembled for six months in order to come up with a snotty reworking of the very popular MAGA – Make American Great Again – slogan synonymous with President Trump. [SIX MONTHS? Any random 6 of Power Line Commenters could have done it in about 20 minutes!]

Anyway, I was not privy to those meetings so I will have to award myself a Degree in Journalism and just do what they do – which is make something up.

I’m quite sure they weren’t just spitballin’ for free, so let’s pretend that the lead doofus was a Millionaire Maoist Swamp Thing of Pale Hue named Anita. She assembled her Diverse, Inclusive and Equit-acious team that surely must have included:

• the obligatory Sizable Woman of Color (Keneesha),

• an Obese Beige Woman who Speaks Some Spanish (Ana),

• an Anorexic Childless White Suburban Vegan Wino with 15 Cats (Baron) who recently changed her name from “Karen” because people were calling her that who didn’t even know her),

• a Trans Gay Man (for those following at home, that’s a biological woman who has mutilated herself into a man-like approximation, but unfortunately, still is attracted to men, so now they has to identify as Gay) Call they Charlie,

• and a Heterosexual White Man who is not allowed to speak but will get them coffee and Doughnuts. Lots and lots of doughnuts and occasional coffee.

FIRST MEETING – chaired by Anita. Okay, troops. My pronouns are she/her. Double masks in place? Let’s…yes, Karen, you already have a question?

BARON: Bursting into tears. Oh God, you dead-named me! It’s Baron now, pronouns they/them (wipes they eyes): Anyway, I’m not comfortable with being called “troops.” It puts me in mind of gun violence. And the hundreds of trans women of color killed by white supremacists every week.

ANITA: Good point. That estimate may be a tad high, but thanks for speaking your truth. And 1000 apologies for dead-naming you. I denounce myself. But we have to get going here, we only have six months.

ANA (just entering the meeting): Pronouns they/them, plurals X: Buenos Dias, amigas. I hope we aren’t going to be restricted by any male linear thinking, racist systems of punctuality or so-called “right” answers?

ANITA: Well, we are if we want to collect our money. It’s a sexist, racist world out there and they sometimes demand results, though usually not in this Administration. But this is an emergency, so in this case, we need to come up with some super snark. So, let’s get to work here. We need to find a way to mock and distort the stupid racist, sexist, homophobic, Indigenous-hating, xenophobic, Islamophobic, yet quite popular slogan of (spit) MAGA.

BARON: How about DEPLORABLE MAGA?

KENEESHA: Pronouns she/her. That is Hillary’s word, you feel me? She is planning to run in the 2024 Primaries and will need that word because it worked so well for her last time.

CHARLIE: They/them. Okay, try this on for size – MAGA MAGGOTS! It ratchets the hate for them up one level from Deplorable AND it’s alliterative.

ANA, KENEESHA and BARON (shrieking in unison): Charlie!!! Do not mention “size.” That is a hurtful and hateful word.

ANITA: Charlie! WTH? You transition to a man and right away become toxic? Have you not seen the beautiful Sports Illustrated Swimsuit Issue? Everybody of any size and shape looks great in a swimsuit, and even better without one as anyone knows who has ever been to a nude beach. Why, there’s even a woman in a two-piece showing off her Caesarean scar! Gorgeous. It brought tears to my eyes. That issue should FLY off the shelves! As long as there’s a WNBA and Women’s Soccer. But MAGA MAGGOTS has a nice ring to it. Let’s put that on our Probables List.

CHARLIE: Hey, don’t be getting all up in MY face. I have almost 100 percent immunity from criticism. I am a gay trans person who used to be a woman. If I was black too I could run for mayor in Chicago or be Presidential Press Secretary. But I have another idea – how about BAGA MAGA? We could feature Jussie Smollett shooting back at the homophobic MAGA guys who attacked him.

ANITA: You know how we always say “there are no bad ideas?” Well, that’s not true. That’s a terrible idea. The stupid Walmarty MAGA people LOVE caps and shirts with guns on them. They wouldn’t be embarrassed by that slogan – they would love it. Somebody would copyright BAGA MAGA for a haters’ dating site. Hell, they even embraced “Deplorables.”

KENEESHA: Plus, seriously, y’all, I loved Empire, but even a lot of African-Americans don’t believe Jussie’s story. Charles Barkley almost kilt Shaq on The NBA on TNT talkin’ bout “America: if you hire criminals, don’t pay by check. Get some cash.” Man, Shaq was laughing harder even than Kamala laughs at everything and nuthin’. What is the MATTER with that girl?

ANITA: People! Focus! It’s quite simple – we need a slogan to convey that Making America Great Again believers aren’t just a LITTLE bad. They are SMELLY, BAD TEETH BAD. They are SUPER bad.

ANA: I think that’s the name of a movie with some unmacho teenage twerps and one of the Rogens, though not (spit) Joe. I don’t know…white boys…who cares? Maybe MUY GRANDE MAGA?

KENEESHA: I hear that – no offense, Ana – a lot of LatinX people are turning White Supremacist. At least in polls. So maybe don’t draw their attention to MAGA at all?

ANA: No offense? That sounds racist.

KENEESHA: You callin’ ME racist, Churro Girl? You think you’re all that and a bag of chips cuz you’re on The View as the pretend Republican?

ANITA: People! Kamala just said we need to work together by working together. She said it many many many times. What we need is a word that means beyond big and bad. Like POOPY-PANTS MAGA, EXTREMIST MAGA, SUPREMACIST MAGA, INSURRECTION-Y MAGA. NAZI PUTIN-LOVING MAGA — Along those lines.

WHITE MAN GOFER (under his breath): Ultra MAGA?

ANITA: Stay in your lane. No talking. Go get us some doughnuts with sprinkles. We’ll have a break and then get right back to work. We can milk this for at least five and a half more months!