An anonymous White House staffer has leaked a partial transcript of President Biden’s pre-Super Bowl interview with Barfly Sports:
BARFLY: Mr. president, in light of recent mistakes, what do you say to those who question your memory?
BIDEN: I say, come on man! Nothing wrong with my memory. I remember when Willy Brandt defecated from East Germany and became president of Belgium. I bet French president Maricón doesn’t even remember that.
BARFLY: Mr. President, many observers believe you are physically incapable of performing the duties of office. How you rate your own health?
BIDEN: Here’s the deal. I’m in perfect health. I study hard for my urine test and pass it every time. No need for me to take the Montreal Collaborative Test, but if I did I would ace it.
BARFLY: Mr. president, how do you rate your chances in November?
BIDEN: Come on man. I whipped Trump in the fairest election in US history. I run the best administration in US history. Not a single scandal. Look at the border. Millions of migrants are coming here, just to vote for me. It’s a lock.
BARFLY: Mr. President, what’s your call on the Super Bowl?
BIDEN: The Kansas City Cheats will defeat the San Francisco Forty Miners 21-14, give or take a few.
BARFLY: Mr. President, anything else you want to tell the nation?
BIDEN: I sure like Swift Taylor. Let’s go Brandon!