Lawyer Envy

In the course of a well-deserved denunciation of our unlamented former governor Jesse Ventura, our friends at Fraters Libertas (the Elder, specifically) have regrettably gone off on an anti-lawyer tangent. The take-off point was Jesse’s complaint that every time he had to enlist legal assistance in defending himself against some defamatory claim, it cost him $750 or $800. The Elder says:
“Without even getting a discussion on exactly how this whole thing about ‘paying your attorney fees’ would be enforced, doesn’t it sound like Jesse’s really getting off pretty cheap here? $750-$800 in legal fees? I gotta think that as soon as you pick up the phone to call one of the gents from Powerline, you’re already talking close to grand. Heck, if you’re in the urinal next to Hindrocket and you talk about anything other than the weather you’re walking out of the bathroom with a billing statement. Jesse’s talking about hiring a lawyer to march down to the Strib offices to pound their fist on some editor’s desk until they agree to a correction (what a scene that must be). $750-$800? Who does he have on retainer? ‘I Can’t Believe It’s A Law Firm!’? For someone who makes their living in the public eye as Jesse does, it doesn’t seem like that high a price to pay to clear up your good name.”
Exactly right: legal fees–cheap at the price! It’s true that if I were hired to pound my fist on a Strib editor’s desk (which I can’t be, since they’re a client of my firm, which might account in part for why the Trunk takes the lead in dissecting their polls), it would cost a good bit more than $750. But I will say, in my own defense, that urinal-related consultation is free. So, Elder, if you’re ever in dire need of legal help, I can direct you to someone real cheap. For a price.

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