England Goes Mad

Maybe there’s something to this soccer thing after all. The Sun’s entire news section appears to be devoted to the English national soccer team, their upcoming match against Portugal, and their new superstar, Everton’s own Wayne Rooney.
“For England and St. George,” says the Sun’s main headline. Here is the flag the Sun unfurled in Lisbon’s main square:

But the madness is only beginning. Another article is titled “Rooney’s ‘just like Mozart’.” It begins: “Wayne Rooney is a genius on a par with Mozart, scientists said yesterday.”
Another piece features Rooney’s grandfather, who says he is so happy to see his son starring for England that “I wouldn