From a reader whose email address does not closely match that of the purported sender, we have received the following message:
John Kerry was in Cambodia. I know. I was there with him. On December 24, 1968, our team of six traveled upriver from Saigon, avoiding detection by using Lt. Kerry’s intimate knowledge of the many small creeks and tributaries in that locale.
All six members of our team are still alive and willing to come forward at this time to support John Kerry’s story. They are: Lt. John F. Kerry, Pfc. Steve “Sacko” Snack (who is a woman), Cpl. Susan Hafbright (who is a man), Sgt. Jim “Jimbo” Boid (we aren’t sure about him yet), A1C Eric “the Red” Ringman and, yours truly, Gen. Elvis Presley. Yes, it really is me. I am alive.
It seems as if it happened only yesterday….”A cold dread settled over our small party as we listened to our shortwave radio and heard President George W. Bush tell the American people, “There are no American troops in Cambodia.”
“Yeah right,” said Lt. Kerry sarcastically, adding, “Bush lied!” “This day will be seared-seared into my memory for the rest of my life!” The cold dread turned to happy thoughts as we envisioned sugar plums dancing in our heads….and Fairies too.
A thick fog settled over our tiny fellowship. “Welcome to Christmas in Cambodia,” said Lt. Kerry in an ironic tone of voice, as he took a drag on on a Camel, then flicked the butt manfully into the Cau Do River as he grabbed his M16 like a squirtgun. “Start the cameras.” Little did we know that 36 years later our heroic mission would be questioned by right-wing zealots. Help is on the way!”
Gen. Elvis Presley (Ret.)
UPDATE: Rob McNeil writes: “Keep up the great work on this story but may I suggest that Bill and Ted’s second movie would be a more appropriate reference: ‘John Kerry’s Bogus Journey.'”