Thoughts from the ammo line

Our old friend Ammo Grrrll has an important declaration to make. She declares that she loves (“LOVES”) her guns. Ammo Grrrll speaks:

Bill Maher, famous One-Percenter donor of one million dollars to Obama’s 2012 campaign, wants us to know that despite looking like he would lose a pillowfight with Pajama Boy, he is one macho, strapped-up, packin’ dude who has at least one gun. But – unlike those crazy, wacko Republicans – he does not LOVE guns. No, he thinks of them as necessary, you know, “like antibiotics,” but has no abiding affection for them.

A man who spends as much time at the Playboy Mansion as Maher is reputed to do would have an understandable fondness for penicillin.

(Bonus joke: How many blondes does it take to change a diaper? Answer: I don’t know – ask Hugh Hefner.)

I was under the impression that the only sin in liberalism was being judgmental. So why the snotty bit singling out Republicans as being weirdly enamored of their guns? If there are righteous Democrats among us, speak now and forever hold your piece. Libertarians?

People “love” all kinds of inanimate things. They love cars. To me, a car is just a thing to get me from Point A to Point B with both points involving food. I tend to drive my cars until they die. But I do not disparage the serious Motor Heads among us, from Jay Leno to the brilliant Iowahawk nor suggest that there is anything fundamentally wrong with them.

Women, on the other hand, “love” shoes and handbags (what we, in both MN and AZ call “purses”). Ammo Grrrll was taking a potty break in the gender line in Heaven when those affinities were passed out. Shoes – along with shirts — are something to wear to meet health code standards in restaurants, except in Hawaii. And purses? I have dear, misguided female friends who own purses that cost hundreds, even thousands of dollars. It pains me to think of the ammo that could buy! If I spend thousands for a purse, it better come with a Kimber Master Carry Custom .45 ACP inside, at a minimum, and maybe an Ed Brown.

Neither do I have fancy fingernails which would interfere with loading a magazine.

A blissfully happy, unbitter clinger, I love my God, my husband, my children, my parents, siblings, and dozens of wonderful friends. And I also love my Sig Sauer P229 Black Elite 9 millimeter handgun. A sweet, beautiful, and deadly-accurate weapon. I love my little Ruger SR22, the first handgun I ever owned. And soon, I will love my next gun: the Walther PPQ, striker-fired, 9 millimeter semi-automatic pistol. The trigger is awesome. Try it, you’ll love it!

And Bill? Go jump in a grotto.

Responses