The Babylon Bee Is Worried

Jeffrey Epstein’s puzzling end has some people on edge, including the editors of the Babylon Bee. So the Bee has issued a public statement: “We Would Like To State For The Record That Hillary Clinton Is An Upstanding Citizen And A Fine Human Being.” Heh.

A note from the editorial board at The Babylon Bee:

A number of people have questioned our love for Hillary Clinton based on some satirical pieces published on our site recently.

We would like to clear things up by saying that Hillary Clinton is an upstanding citizen and a very fine human being. She is of excellent character. She would never hurt anyone. The people who wrote those jokes, headlines, and pieces that seemed to criticize Hillary have been dealt with.

It’s the Clinton Way!

Some conspiracy theories have been going around about the Clintons, and we think that’s just despicable. Deplorable, really. From Bill’s time in the White House all the way through Hillary’s spotless record as Secretary of State, the Clintons have served this country with honor and not a hint of scandal. For people to suggest they are so powerful and sinister to kill those who might expose some non-existent “wrongdoings” in their past is treason, really.

Treason! A word that has become popular on the Left.

Above all, we want to make sure Hillary does not question our loyalty to her and the whole Clinton family. We have nothing bad to say about her. Also, just to be clear, we have no dirt or inside information on her whatsoever and nothing would be gained by our untimely deaths.

So, Hillary, we love you! Please do not hurt us.

That is very funny. For the record, I assume that Epstein committed suicide, although how that could have happened given his notoriety, his previous suicide attempt and news accounts indicating that he was at one time on a “suicide watch,” is a mystery. So we can’t blame the Bee for taking no chances!

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