The Week In Pictures

The Week in Pictures: Colonialism Protest Meal Edition

Featured image Look folks, there’s an easy way around the government ban on having a traditional Thanksgiving feast with friends and family. Hold a protest against colonialist oppression instead! As we know, protests are exempt from the rules, and are “scientifically” proven to pose lower risk of COVID spread than, say, a MAGA meetup or a motorcycle rally in Sturgis. It’s foolproof (necessary when dealing with government fools these days): just make »

The Week in Pictures: Recount Edition

Featured image What this post-election season needs is not more cowbell, but a Paul Dooley-style “recount!” moment. We may have to settle for extra giant turkeys for Thanksgiving instead, just to mess with the heads of our overstuffed turkey police monitoring our gravy and stuffing for indicators we aren’t locking ourselves down enough. Strap in: extra long politics section today. Headlines of the week: And finally. . . »

The Week in Pictures: Election Overtime Edition

Featured image I know we are all shocked—shocked!—that there might be vote fraud in heavily Democratic cities, and one wonders why they can’t run their public schools as well as they run their vote-generating machines. I suspect within six months, President Sleepy Joe will say to the Democrat vote-generating machine, “Thanks for nuthin’ gang,” and call up Trump to offer to give the White House back. Headlines of the week: And finally. »

The Week in Pictures: Unhappy Halloween Edition

Featured image This year the trick is on all of us, in the form of “two-weeks-to-flatten-the-curve” turning into a year-long treat for authoritarian bureaucrats and other “experts.” Thus the dilemma for anyone hosting trick-or-treaters tonight: is that cadaver-costumed kid trying to look like Joe Biden on purpose or . . . is that Joe Biden? Very hard to tell this year. And if you think people out after dark in costumes and »

The Week in Pictures: #MeToobin Edition

Featured image Scene: a Hollywood pitch meeting. The idea: a sitcom starring the son of a former vice president now running for president himself, rooming with a bloviating cable news “lawyer-commentator” who wants in on the son’s hookers and blow action. Every few minutes a sock puppet pops up from behind the couch and asks, “What’s going on here?” A second sock puppet labeled “NPR” pops up to say, “Nothing to see »

The Week in Pictures: Barrett’s Awesome Notepad Edition

Featured image The most obvious thing we learned this week is that Judge Amy Coney Barrett’s blank notepad is smarter that all the Senate Democrats put together. Has there ever been a more eloquent and effective smackdown of political posturing than a blank notepad? In future discussions of jurisprudence among law professors, we might well think to observe that “this is the greatest assemblage of legal thinking since Amy Coney Barrett’s blank »

The Week in Pictures: The Fly Edition

Featured image So forget the old saying, “Oh to be a fly on the wall.” After this week, we all want to be a fly on Mike Pence’s head. Of course, there are two theories about this. One is, the fly was a Deep State nanobot designed to interfere with Pence’s brain waves and mess him up in the debate. The other theory is that is was a Trump campaign nanobot to »

The Week in Pictures: Post-Debate Edition

Featured image I think I know what’s really going on. Over at KAOS headquarters (otherwise known as Trump Tower), the show runners were recalling the palmy days of the Access Hollywood tape four years ago, when everyone said IT’S OVER!—PUT PENCE AT THE TOP OF THE TICKET NOW! The attempted sequel—the Melania Tapes—bombed, so someone said, “I’ve got it! Let’s go with COVID! Yeah, that’s the ticket!”       Headlines of »

The Week in Pictures: Witness Protection Edition

Featured image In almost one-third of the days of September, the Biden campaign has called a “lid”—meaning no further events or candidate appearances—by 9 am in the morning. People used to joke that Ronald Reagan was only a 9 to 5 president, with a nap after lunch. (Not true: he was usually answering personal correspondence.) Is Biden going to be an 9 – 1o am president? And has Kamala Harris been put »

The Week in Pictures: Desperate Despacito Edition

Featured image From the Washington Post: “Recent polls showing President Trump’s inroads with Latinos have set off a fresh round of frustration and finger-pointing among Democrats, confirming problems some say have simmered for months.” So what do you do? You have Sleepy Joe slow-roll the Macarena or something. “Despacito” sounds close enough to desperado to work? Why not? Slow Joe probably thinks of it as a Corny Pop song. Meanwhile, let’s start »

The Week in Pictures: Far Turn Edition

Featured image Since it is the convention to speak of presidential election campaigns like horse races, we’ve reached the far turn before the homestretch. Biden is still sitting inside on the pole, but is tiring. Trump is coming up fast on the outside. The track is sloppy. The odds are narrow. The stands are starting to fill up. Photo finish ahead? Headlines of the week: And finally . . . Lauren Boebert »

The Week in Pictures: Bad Hair Day Edition

Featured image So, Nancy Pelosi is having the Bad Hair Day from Hell right now, because she was set up by a cabal of Trump-supporting hairdressers in . . . (checks notes) . . . San Francisco? That sounds about as implausible as CNN reporting a story accurately, or a liberal Democrat telling the truth about President Trump. Meanwhile, a Kennedy actually lost an election in Massachusetts, showing that Trump really is »

The Week in Pictures: The Un-Convention Edition

Featured image Anybody remember years ago when the 7-Up people marketed their clear cola as the “un-cola”? Well this week we got the GOP “Un-Convention,” a format that was not really a convention, but which showed, in contrast to the Democrats’ Zoom-a-Thon last week, that the supposed advantage of having Hollywood talent on your side doesn’t actually count for much. And how nice of all those “spontaneous” and “mostly peaceful” pro-Trump rallies »

The Week in Pictures: All Male Voting Edition

Featured image Hi everybody! Emily Litella here. Say, I’m confused. I kept hearing all week that it was the 100th anniversary of ending all-male voting. But then I keep hearing Democrats demand that we have an all-male election in November. But there are no male boxes because Trump has locked them up in cages at the border. Are male boxes just individuals with a cervix? I’m sure Joe Biden can explain the »

The Week in Pictures: Kamala Edition

Featured image Anything of note happen this week? I’ve actually been distracted by things. I hear Joe Biden has selected the next President of the United States. Very nice of him to do it for us; saves us the trouble of a nomination contest and such. I hear the going rate for food tasters has gone up sharply over the last 72 hours. Funny, with so many restaurants closed down you’d think »

The Week in Pictures: Joementum Edition

Featured image According to the polls Joe Biden has a big lead over Trump, but I seem to recall a candidate once before named Joe (Lieberman), who claimed some early successes gave him “Joe-mentum,” right before his campaign crashed and burned. Say what you will about Trump discovering “Yo-semitism” or “Thighland” (isn’t that a club in Vegas?), but if Biden keeps stumbling at the rate he did this week, watch suppositories sell »

The Week in Pictures: Barr None Edition

Featured image Sometimes you close down the bar. And sometimes the Barr closes down you! I think Attorney General Barr should volunteer to do as many hearings as Democrats want. There are at least two Democratic ex-senators (McCaskill and Donnelly) who blame their loss in the 2018 election to the Democratic freak show over the Kavanaugh nomination. Here’s a fun idea for our Troller-in-Chief: suggest appointing Barr to the Supreme Court. Headlines »