Gales of Laughter…

…are the only possible response to this White House memo extolling the virtues of Obama consiglieri Valerie Jarrett. The memo contains talking points to be used by White House staffers who were instructed to praise Jarrett in advance of a New York Times profile that appeared in September 2012. It was leaked to Mark Leibovich and will appear in his forthcoming book, This Town. The memo is hilariously titled “The Magic of Valerie.”


The magic of Valerie is her intellect and her heart. She is an incredibly kind, caring and thoughtful person with a unique ability to pinpoint the voiceless and shine a light on them and the issues they and the President care about with the ultimate goal of making a difference in people’s lives.

Valerie is the perfect combination of smart, savvy and innovative.

Valerie has an enormous capacity for both empathy and sympathy. She balances the need to be patient and judicious with the desire to get things done and work as hard as possible for the American people from the White House.

To know what both drives Valerie Jarrett and why the President values her opinion so much, you benefit greatly from really getting to know the woman.

Valerie is tapped in to people’s experiences, their good times and bad. She knows from her own life what it is like to believe and strive for your dreams.

Valerie expects people to work their hearts out for the President and never forget where you work and the magnitude.

Single mother, woman working to the top in a competitive male dominated world, African, working for change from the grassroots to big business.

Valerie is someone here who other people inside the building know they can trust. (need examples.)

I’ll bet they do! Just when you think you have plumbed the depths of the Obama administration, you learn something that makes you realize they are even more corrupt, more totalitarian, and just plain goofier than you knew.

Reading that paean to Valerie reminded me of something. It took me a minute to figure out what; then it came to me:

Actually, the Monkees’ version isn’t as saccharine, and it is blessedly shorter. But someone forgot to tell them how to spell “Valerie.”

Valleri. I love her Valleri.

There’s a girl I know who makes me feel so good.
And I wouldn’t live without her, even if I could.
They call her Valleri.
I love her Valleri.

[Instrumental]

She’s the same little girl who used to hang around my door.
But she sure looks different than the way she looked before.
I call her Valleri.
I love her Valleri.

[Instrumental]

Valleri. I love her Valleri.
I love my Valleri.
I need ya, Valleri.

Responses