Thoughts from the ammo line

Ammo Grrrll lets her mind wander to SEX STUFF: MEN AND WOMEN MAY BE DIFFERENT! She writes:

As even casual readers of this column know, Mr. AG and I have been married for a very, very, extremely very long time. Because Mr. AG knows me so well, he does feel that he can correct me if I have something terribly wrong. You know, for my own good. So I don’t make a fool of myself. Especially in print.

But sometimes I am right. Like in this conversation over breakfast a few days ago:

Me: Did you see the most recent revelations about Harvey Weinstein?
Mr. AG: You mean beyond the many women he mauled, harassed and, possibly, raped?
Me: Yeah, that, but, I’m talking about the allegation that he wanted them to watch him shower.
Mr. AG: Hahaha. You must have that wrong, honey. You mean he asked to watch THEM shower!
Me: No. What I said.
Mr. AG: (Uncharacteristic long silence and frowny face.) That can’t be right.
Me: That’s what several of the women say.
Mr. AG: Where’s the fun in that? Is that a thing?
Me: Apparently just another thrill we never heard of. Who knew just watching a big, fat, wet, hairy guy wash could make him so happy?
Mr. AG: Yuck. I’m eatin’ here…

Oddly enough, I feel kind of sorry for Harvey, who, on top of everything bears the name of a very large, nasty recent natural disaster. Maybe that’s how they picked the name. Oh sure, he sounds like a disgusting, bullying,evil, sick Democrat puppy who took “casting couch” to a new dimension, or at least to a new room in the house. But two things leap out at me and make me suspicious.

First, the many many actresses and assistants now coming forward, apparently did not feel it was important enough to mention to the authorities at the time if it might damage their careers. Like the 40 or 50 drugged Cosby victims, they made a choice. Among other things, of course, this allowed other women to be abused, too. According to some reports, there WERE women who tried to approach the law and were shut down. Exactly how far does this rot go?

But, I also do “get” the idea that if someone has the wherewithal to land you a role that will get you millions of dollars, or PREVENT you from ever working in Tinseltown again, even as a barista at Starbucks, you might be willing to play Shower Cam or drink that Rum Roofie. And that is one of the rare occasions when the word “privilege” might be apt – “white” in Harvey’s case, “black” in Cosby’s. But mostly just “rich, powerful and connected” privilege. Plus, the icky guy probably weighs over 300 pounds, three times the size of the average anorexic actress. A lot of MEN would have trouble fighting off someone that large and mean.

But, second, why now? Cosby had made a target of himself speaking out against pathologies in the black community. But how did Harvey find himself suddenly in the crosshairs? He was a money spigot for every pet Hollywood cause — friend and pal to both the Clintons and the Obamas. Surely he embraced and funded every cause the New York Times held dear. What, besides the Times’ reflexive anti-Semitism, would make them decide to go after one of their own in such an embarrassing fashion? I think more will emerge in the lawsuits and counter-lawsuits. He must have groped the wrong woman somewhere. Why him, why now, especially since his piggy behavior was an open secret in Hollywood for decades? Stay tuned.

I know men like sex. Cool. Who doesn’t? But, seriously, guys, what’s up with all the pervy stuff? Beloved male commenters: Help me out here. Are there a lot of you who think, “Boy, if I ever get rich and powerful, I’m going to ask a woman to pretend to be a young pet owner while I dress up like a hamster. I’m building my own man-sized cage right now with shredded newspaper on the floor”? (OK, bad example, cuz, who hasn’t done THAT?) But a lot of these creeps sure do have some weird fetishes. Personally, I think once you separate sex from love, and commitment, you need ever kinkier stuff to get a kick. Like needing higher doses of drugs. But that’s just me and I’m admittedly a Grrrll.

Rich, powerful, but unattractive, men must be in Literal Hog Heaven when they find they now have access to gorgeous women who wouldn’t have given them the time of day in high school and now can be made to do literally anything for money, ambition, or fame.

But how men decide that the high they get from their particular proclivities are worth risking everything for, that is a phenomenon most women do not understand. I mean Anthony Weiner was even given a mulligan and he went right back to the behavior, albeit with the clever disguise moniker of Carlos Danger.

From that married politician repeatedly texting pictures of his swollen undies to teenagers; to a famous married spokesman for a sandwich company looking to have sex with young boys; to a married President of the United States playing with cigars and an intern in the Oval Office – these men and countless others have wreaked havoc in their lives for extremely fleeting pleasure. Mystifying! Women do terribly self-defeating and destructive things for what they imagine to be “love.” But just for sex? Meh. Maybe throw in Chicken Fried Steak, Biscuits and Cream Gravy and a piece of warm Rhubarb Pie with Praline Ice Cream, now we’re talkin’.

And now Harvey is in Full Damage Control Mode, gathering prominent feminist attorneys and Maoist PR flaks around his bulky (but evidently, very clean) body. He’s being schooled on spouting the correct gibberish by the best feminist scolds. But best of all, he is going to channel all that former sexual energy into – wait for it! – GUN CONTROL! Yes, he can’t control his gonads, so he’s taking his raging, aging hormones and his liberal libido to the perpetually-slandered NRA. And just in time too. I wonder what Paul Sorvino thinks about Harvey going after his daughter or Brad Pitt thinks about this sleaze puttin’ the moves on his wife. Maybe it IS time to “talk about Fight Club.”

A word of advice, Harvey, on your new cause . If you ask one of those righteous NRA ladies to watch you shower, you could have considerably fewer parts to clean in the future.