Laughter is the Best Medicine
December 8, 2023 — Scott Johnson
Ammo Grrrll draws FIVE LESSONS FROM CHANUKAH. She writes: Last night was the first night of Chanukah. We set out all our menorahs and lit the one candle with the “chamash” or helper candle in each one. It looked pretty festive, but I always make my Chanukah Party on the seventh or eighth night when it’s a veritable bonfire – five menorahs with 9 candles apiece! Quite glorious. There is
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December 1, 2023 — Scott Johnson
Ammo Grrrll advocates LITMUS TESTS BEST FOR ACIDITY VS. ALKALINITY, not HUMAN BEINGS. She writes: This column will definitely not be in my Top 10 Most Humorous. There is something unfunny that I am compelled to discuss. I’ll be funnier next week. I see a tragic mistake being made over and over again in the commentariat. And it’s one which will ultimately cost us the 2024 election and possibly even
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November 24, 2023 — Scott Johnson
Ammo Grrrll reflects on GRATITUDE, INGRATITUDE and SHAME. She writes: As I may have said here before – sometimes I feel like in 10 years I’ve said EVERYTHING here before – Thanksgiving is at least tied with 4th of July for my favorite holiday. First of all, the menu is hard to beat – Turkey, Gravy, Mashed Potatoes, Gravy, Cornbread/Hot Sausage Stuffing, Gravy, Squash, Cranberries, Scalloped Corn, Biscuits, and Gravy.
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November 17, 2023 — Scott Johnson
Ammo Grrrll is not short of ammo in MIT-K-E-Y M-O-U-S-E! She blasts away: A few days ago my friend and colleague John Hinderaker covered the disgrace that MIT has become. Let me quote from his first paragraph and allude to several other of his quotes. I just want to add my spin and outrage lest my head explode: “Some of the worst anti-Semitic campus outbursts of recent weeks have been
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November 15, 2023 — John Hinderaker
Britain’s BBC has been left-wing for as long a I can remember, and in recent decades, being left-wing means hating Israel. Every time there is a conflict in the Middle East, the BBC can be relied on to carry water for the Arabs and to denigrate Israelis. Within the last couple of days, the network reported–absurdly–that the IDF had entered Gaza’s main hospital, and was targeting medical teams and Arab
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November 10, 2023 — Scott Johnson
If you need help separating HELPFUL STRATEGIES AND LESS HELPFUL, Ammo Grrrll has a few thoughts. She writes: The other night a few of our best friends in our Gated Geezerville sat down around a cozy firepit to eat, drink, laugh, and commiserate. It had been a tough summer for the three of us idiots who elected to stay in the aptly named Valley of the Stupid Sun for the
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November 9, 2023 — Scott Johnson
In this extra edition Ammo Grrrll is thinking about FUNDRAISING SCAMS: Back when I used to do standup comedy for a living, I would sometimes end my routine by turning serious and asking people to “contribute to the Susan Vass Wildlife Fund.” I would point out that there would be collection buckets in the back as they left and then say, “Remember, if you don’t give, I can’t lead a
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November 3, 2023 — Scott Johnson
We may be losing the United States, but we are gaining PHARMACEUTICAL NATION. Ammo Grrrll writes [Editor’s note: Ms. Grrrll, a special thanks for the laughs from the line this week]: Just within the space of my lifetime, we have seen the United States of America go from a mostly agrarian nation – a FARM NATION, if you will – to an urban nation and drug-dependent nation. Coincidence? You be
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October 27, 2023 — Scott Johnson
Ammo Grrrll isn’t PACKING IT IN! She’s just recovering. She writes: My dear late Mother, child of the Depression, was always cheerful, but something of a Stoic. One of her more annoying little aphorisms when we kids whined about something was “I felt sorry for myself because I had no shoes. Till I met a man who had no feet.” Oh, for Pete’s sake, Mama, not again with the guy
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October 20, 2023 — Scott Johnson
Ammo Grrrll is all but singing CALL ME IRRESPONSIBLE! She writes: The American Value System we treasure is crumbling before our eyes from a number of sea changes in the culture. Some of the changes were slow and sneaky. Lately, some are arriving like runaway trains. But one thing’s for sure – the country bears scant resemblance to the country most of us grew up in. Why? The most serious
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October 15, 2023 — Scott Johnson
From Gerard Baker’s Free Beacon review of Franklin Foer’s hymn to Joe Biden: The Biden of Mr. Foer’s depiction—imagination might be a more accurate description—is not the fumbling, mumbling, stumbling president we have all come to see on our screens these last two years nor the predictable Democratic party hack we have known throughout his more than half a century in national politics. The figure who emerges from the pages
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October 13, 2023 — Scott Johnson
Ammo Grrrll has a thought: JUST SAY NO TO TAXPAYER FINANCED GROCERY STORES FOR NEIGHBORHOODS THAT DROVE OUT THEIR CORPORATE GROCERY STORES! She writes: It is fitting that this column will run on a Friday the 13th because the very idea of it is not only surreal, but kind of terrifying. Oh, before we begin, I have a new definition of “surreal”: I actually saw that some of the hefty
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October 6, 2023 — Scott Johnson
Speaking demographically a la Paul Simon, Ammo Grrrll finds it TERRIBLY STRANGE TO BE 70! She writes: In 1968, when I was 22, Simon and Garfunkel released their fourth studio album, Bookends. It contains the beautiful, haunting song “Old Friends” with the lyric about the two old guys who “sit on the park bench like bookends.” Wait, what? At only 70? No pickleball, no swimming, no travel, no volunteering, no
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September 30, 2023 — Scott Johnson
I haven’t thought about the late comedian Pat Paulsen in a long time. He started running for president in 1968 and kept at it on a quadrennial basis, more or less like a comic version of Minnesota’s own boy wonder Harold Stassen (although Stassen himself became a punch line). See the history set forth in “Pat Paulsen for president!” The Library of Congress has even found a place in its
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September 29, 2023 — Scott Johnson
Thinking through the case against New Jersey Senator Robert Menendez, Ammo Grrrll has formulated PERFECTLY LOGICAL REASONS TO HAVE GOLD BARS AND HALF A MILLION IN CASH HIDDEN IN YOUR HOUSE! She writes: Do we have THE best “Parliament of Whores” (hat-tip the late, great P. J. O’Rourke) that money can buy, or what? Sure, some might see the words “Bob Menendez” and “New Jersey” and think there must be
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September 22, 2023 — Scott Johnson
Having spent $78 on lunch at the Newark Airport, New York Times columnist David Brooks seized the opportunity to present himself as a man of the people in the Xeet below. Like Bill Clinton, he has felt their pain. Before he got burned in Newark, however, he apparently couldn’t understand the economic plight of Bidenomics. The X community has added a note that gives Brooks’s complaint a little “context.” This
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September 22, 2023 — Scott Johnson
Speaking of Slow Joe Biden, Ammo Grrrll declares he is NOT EVEN CLOSE….She writes: Our shambling, rambling, pathologically lying, senile kleptocrat of an occupant of the White House (a/k/a The Big Guy), said a couple of weeks ago that Climate Change is scarier than nuclear war. No joke, man! I disagree, and I regret, not all that respectfully. And I submit my case as follows: THINGS THAT ARE SCARIER THAN
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