Thoughts from the ammo line

Ammo Grrrll declares: NOW I SEE WHY! She writes:

Today being the first Friday in the Brand Spanking New Year, I am in a reflective mood. You might even say, philosophical. Funny anecdote about “philosophy” – when I was in college, I had to read Immanuel Kant’s ponderous Critique of Pure Reason for a class on Big-Deal European Thinkers. (There may have been a more dignified course title, but it has slipped my mind. That was the gist of it.)

I procured a used copy in the college bookstore. Since the estimable Mr. Kant had died in 1804, I figured his family was no longer collecting royalties anyway. Many people back in that era used a yellow Highlighter to “highlight” words, phrases, thoughts that we found interesting or did not understand. And – true story – my used copy of Critique of Pure Reason was SOLID YELLOW, from cover to cover.

I have always wondered whether the poor dear who had it before me had either found it fascinating or had not understood a single word. Judging by my 19-year old level of comprehension of Herr Kant, I lean toward the latter. Anyway, that is how reflective I am feeling on this Friday. So, I have turned my attention to a different conundrum.

In my life – hard as it is to believe – there have been people who have not liked me. Yes, it’s true. Worse yet, there have even been people – some in my own extended family – who have DISAGREED with me on this or that political or personal point. And, as you all know, there is no such thing as legitimate “disagreement” in 2022 America, only “HATE.”

There have been trolls on this very site who did not obey the cardinal rule of disagreement, which is to disagree without being disagreeable. And I used to wonder why. Not why they were disagreeable. That was obvious. Many were sad, lonely, unpleasant people who were happiest being unhappy and mean. Or were paid. But others SEEMED sane-ish and yet disagreed with me. And now I see why.

Alexandria Occasional Cortex has led the way in discovering the reason, so obvious I can’t believe I missed it: it’s because they all, yes, all to a person, felt terrible because they wanted to “date” me, but could not have me! An understandable vast surging regret.

Sometimes the answer is just that simple. If you have a room-temperature IQ and a VERY high and unwarranted opinion of your own attractiveness. This is not the first time that AOC has worried about her dangerous level of pulchritude. She took to Twitter to proclaim that the worst thing about the Trespassing Insurrection – worse than Pearl Harbor and 9/11 put together!! — was not that the insurgents lacked a single weapon or bullet. No, the worst thing was that she “feared she would be raped.” To my certain knowledge nobody has ever been raped on the floor of the House of Representatives if you don’t count the taxpayers.

No, judging by the massive and undisclosed sums paid out to unknown numbers of ladies (and possibly gentlemen as well) for “sexual harassment” by our elected horndogs, there must be plenty of hijinks, just not on the actual floor of the Senate or House. Perhaps in the cloak room, the unisex bathroom, the cafeteria, wherever. As the saying goes, “women need a reason, men just need a place.”

Though I seem to remember that Wilbur Mills was caught in a little dust-up involving the Tidal Basin in 1974. That unseemly, but consensual, possibly commercial, event involved a stripper named Fanne Foxe and occurred off-property, though close by.

Wilbur was an Arkansas Democrat who opposed civil rights legislation, but, luckily, was not much of a player – just the Chair for 18 years of the House Ways and Means Committee, so no worries. Oh, also, he was reelected after the incident. Way to go, Democrats!

Poor Al Franken was banished from the power-and-money spigot just for pulling a harmless little visual prank that might have been thought up by any exceptionally immature 12-year old boy. A married Senator, not so much. Poor Al. Wilbur got caught by the police in a limo with a stripper who had just dived (doven?) into the Tidal Basin and blithely went on with his life!

The Honorable Mr. Mills wasn’t even drummed out of office until he drunkenly stormed the stage where Ms. Foxe was a-dancin’. There were limits, even in Arkansas, although the Clintons cast doubt on that statement.

Sure, Wilbur and Ted Kennedy were skirt-chasing alabaster-white male drunks (not to be confused with “alcoholics” who are sorry for their behavior, go to meetings, and work The 12 Steps to make amends). We ladies have been assured that we desperately needed some women in Congress, especially women of color, to restore decorum to our ruling elite. And, my, how well that has worked out! From Maxine Waters to Nancy Pelosi to Liz Cheney, my heart swells with womanly pride. Or high blood pressure. One of those two.

Now we have a “Squad” of harridans of color who are not just perpetually running their often-vulgar mouths, but who operate at an intellectual and emotional level of nasty junior high girls. For my money, I’ll take Wilbur any day over Ilhan Omar or that other America-hating goof, Rashida something, who has never once been photographed with her mouth shut or a look on her face that isn’t pure hatred.

Which brings us full circle back to the confident Ms. Cortez. How, I wondered, could I get that kind of confidence in my Circe-like attractiveness? To believe that every single man – or at least every Republican – wants to have me? That their frustration over that is what makes them lash out at me?

Is it just mental illness, hallucinations, or is she smokin’ crack? Does her impressive confidence come from the bright red lipstick she favors? Is it the yuge teeth? I asked my dentist about some sort of Dental Viagra that might biggen my teeth, even if for only four hours. She said she knew of no such thing and suggested a full set of oversized implants for a nominal $100,000. Haha. My dentist’s a jokester, but where else can you find a young, small, woman dentist who will work on someone who’s carrying not-very-concealed, and not bat an eyelash?