Thoughts from the ammo line

Ammo Grrrll has some important advice: NEVER, NEVER, NEVER…VOTE FOR A CATEGORY. She writes:

Joe Biden promised to choose for his running mate not a specific, qualified person, but a Category: a woman of color. And, in a rare kept campaign promise, he did just that. (Onward to curing cancer!) And now the Democrats are stuck in 2024 with two complete losers who, even added together, barely poll above water. And that’s in polls that over-sample Democrats. I bet that Democrats – at least both sane ones left — have Category Regret.

One potential 2024 candidate is the Whiter Shade of Pale senile, corrupt husk of an incumbent. First, of course, he has to make it through his first State of the Union address, which should be an oratorial treat to rival at least Clarence Darrow, if not Demosthenes. To refresh your memory, here are just two samples:

“And they played and my mind’s going blank now what’s the song that is played where everybody is on the chair everybody uh you what what I can’t remember it anyway and that’s the song that was played.”

“Some more jobs uh some uh more mo- some uh months there are fewer some months more.”

So that’s the potential incumbent candidate, a full three years before his term is up. Could you ever in your wildest dreams have imagined that it would have come to this?

The slacker in the wings is a lazy, know-nothing, giggling schoolgirl of some beige hue who can’t even keep a staff, let alone be entrusted with the executive branch of what once was the Shining City on the Hill. Well done, Democrats and especially Never-Trumpers, you must be so proud.

My sense is that if the question were worded properly, neither Biden nor Harris would have over a 10 percent favorability rating. In a sample as random as any NBC/CNN/NPR poll, the nine guests at my Chanukah dinner party last Saturday night gave both Biden and Harris a 0 percent approval rating. Except for the five ex-Minnesotans who rated them 30 BELOW zero with a windchill factor of 50 below. That windchill will kill ya every time.

Was it theoretically possible to have found a woman Vice Presidential candidate of some non-white color who was not as grating, as cloying, as phony, as stupid as Kamala? In a perfect world, sure. But not in the horror show that was on offer in the Democrat primaries.

Because that, too, was mostly a Parade of Retreads and Favored Categories: the gay guy who had asked his boyfriend to marry him in a train station and thereby qualified to be Secretary of Transportation; the childish skate-boarding wacko with the fake Hispanic nickname; the Indian maiden with the high cheekbones and the $400,000 a year job teaching one course; the weird Spartacus impersonator who was of some tannish-beige color, too. The goofy old commie who hates Capitalism, but somehow now owns several very nice houses.

And what do the dwindling numbers of Kamala fans say is the reason she is polling so badly? Why, it’s the fault of the Evil Toxic White Democrat Men who have just not supported her properly and brought her along in a kind of On-The-Job-Training program. Who would have guessed that an inarticulate and not very bright woman who failed the Bar Exam and got into politics the old-fashioned way as the special, special friend of a married old political codger would not excel? Besides everybody, I mean.

How mortifying! How racist and sexist! These Democrat apologists for Kamala’s ineptitude just admitted that women and/or blacks will need to be hand-held and coddled and not asked tough questions until they are completely ready to take their sacred duties seriously.

The presidency is not an Entitlement Job, not a matter of Quotas and My-Turns. No. The fact that this is a tough and serious job where you have to be ready on Day One is foreign to the Category People. Rewards are not something you EARN. Goodies are something you get by filling a slot, preferably one you were born filling, like skin color, but altering yourself surgically and chemically to improve your slot-worthiness is not entirely ruled out.

I do not agree with everything the late Colin Powell or Condoleezza Rice ever said or did, but I would have had a lot of confidence that they were patriots who would have been ready to serve, not whining about how nobody was mentoring them properly. Larry Elder definitely could have run California better than it’s being run. I guess all those racist Californians preferred the white guy, right? Isn’t that what we would have been accused of had we failed to vote for the candidate of color?

It is perfectly likely that I will someday vote for a conservative PERSON who HAPPENED to be female or gay or black or Hispanic as an incidental detail in an otherwise impressive resume. But I never have and I never will vote for any person BECAUSE of being any of those things.

Wouldn’t you think that Kamala herself would have demurred when offered the job where she knew she was waaaay out of her depth? If only to avoid this kind of national humiliation.

Why, if someone had come to ME and said, “We are looking to fill the extremely underserved Category of short, elderly Jewish women and Dr. Ruth is busy,” I would have had to turn it down. Wait, just a darn minute – would it come with a budget to replace my flagrantly unpresidential wardrobe, and be a conduit to generational wealth, an anonymous gallery for my artist sister, a runway model career for some relative, possibly even Max, and a $100 million dollar gift from Jeff Bezos when I retired? Then I might give it a go. I believe with sustained practice, I could master the annoying cackle.

“So, you promise, swearsies, that when I meet with foreign leaders they will be required to wear nametags at all times? With their stupid Eurotrash anti-Semitic country listed below that? No, I don’t care about their pronouns. Those will be intuitively obvious.”

But as it quickly came to light that I was ludicrously unqualified (see above, “diplomacy” not being a long suit), the last thing I would ever have said was, “Waaah, those icky men didn’t help me!”

People used to say, “If you can’t do the time, don’t do the crime,” but, now it’s “If you can’t do the job, blame Joe, Pete, and Bob.”