Thoughts from the ammo line

The bad news is that the ammo line has grown longer in the Age of Biden. The good news is that it has given Ammo Grrrll the time to give us a bonus holiday edition of her thoughts from the line. Attending to JANE’S VAGINA, er, AK-47, she writes:

For the love of God, will SOMEBODY send Hanoi Jane Fonda a YouTube link to Keith Whitley’s or Alison Krauss’s version of “You Say It Best When You Say Nothing At All”?

This elderly exercise video maven is an international embarrassment whether she’s standing on an enemy tank in the middle of a shooting war or gleefully embracing a Chinese Virus that has killed around a million of her fellow citizens and around six million world-wide. Sensing the very real potential for Democrats to cheat even more than usual in the 2020 election, she came up with the knee-slapping comedy quip, “COVID was a gift from God to the Democrats.”

Har-de-har-har! As we said in junior high.

And now she expressed her profound disagreement with the ability of the states to limit the “right” of pregnant women to kill their babies as late in the game as they desire. Check out this gem of intellectual rigor:

“If a corporation can be defined as a person, why not redefine vaginas as AK47s[?] That way they’d be free of governmental restrictions by those who care about ‘the sanctity of life’.”

Where even to start? Alas, Disqus and the Taste Requirements of Power Line will limit me (and YOU!) from making ALL the possible jokes about Jane’s ability to hold a traditional 30-round AK magazine in that erstwhile organ, and so forth. Or the fact that Wikipedia says the AK47 owes its popularity at least in part to “its reliability in harsh conditions.” Believe me, I have cracked MYSELF up, but no. A statement that fatuous is worthy of a serious discussion.

First, Janie, like the new Supreme Court Justice, has a severe lack of Biology knowledge. The “vagina” is not being regulated in any way. Do whatever the heck you want with your 80-year-old vagina, Jane, and mazel tov if someone is interested.

The vagina is not the issue or the problem. It’s that dang UTERUS, Janie, when it is filled with a live BABY, not a clump of cells (as we were assured for decades), but – as ultrasounds prove beyond a shadow of a doubt – a little human being. So, right off the bat, you’re going to have to amend your awesome clickbait witticism to “redefine the uteruses as AK47s.”

For several decades now, since Eve Ensler‘s Vagina Monologues hit the stage, the brave feminists have been yakking about their lady bits in public in a way I find tedious and vaguely embarrassing. In a hilarious karmic happenstance, Eve is now on the Doo-Doo List because of her failure to grasp that MEN also have vaginas that can engage in soliloquys. Sure they do. Nevertheless, more women have gotten into the “vagina game,” from knitted hats to home décor.

As the great Dave Barry would say, “I am not making this up”: Gwyneth Paltrow has a line of her own personal “vagina-scented” candles. Apparently joining her successful cologne brand “Eau de Gwyneth’s Armpit.”

But what really do you expect from an actress who held a fundraiser for The Lightbringer and cooed that “You should be President for life because you’re so handsome.” This is a grown woman who evidently still reads Teen Beat Magazine.

Ah, but Ammo, you are clearly just an uptight geezer, probably some kind of religious nut, so naturally you would be unwilling to wear a poor replica of a vagina on your head in order to march down the street mouthing obscenities about a “stolen 2016 election.” (Wait, say what? THAT kind of loose talk isn’t allowed…get you kicked right off Twitter and Facebook.)

Okay, I admit to having at least a shred of dignity and that I believe that some things are best kept private. Some parts, for example, and hence the expression, “private parts.”

Nonetheless, I would rate my vagina as one of my 5 or 6 favorite body parts, right up there with my heart, liver and pancreas for sure. Definitely ahead of my vital but cranky colon. It has provided a lot of joy in my life and was going to be the Preferred Exit Route for my baby, but he opted instead to brace himself against the uterus with all four of his limbs and refuse to come out that way despite the encouragement of 18 hours of labor.

Little did he know at that time that long ago a fella named Caesar, who later invented a famous tasty salad, had figured out a way to just go in and grab him, willy-nilly, against his will. Welcome to the world, baby boy! You will be forced to do many many things you don’t feel like doing in Life, you may as well get started early!

But we have gone astray from our original topic, so let’s return. Why would it behoove us to “redefine” the vagina as a weapon? And why an AK? We will return to that, but the first thing you need to know is that NOBODY in Hollywood (except a handful of conservatives) or the media has ANY IDEA about weapons. They don’t know a revolver from a semi-automatic or a Glock from a Mossberg from an M16. My guess is that Jane MEANT an AR-15, not an AK, but who knows? She is an idiot.

Maybe she likes it because it is Russian. Up until the Ukraine — with its $83,000 a month payment to Hunter Biden — was invaded by Russia, Russia was a favorite spot for Communism-lovers from Lee Harvey Oswald to Angela Davis to Bernie Sanders. True, none of the Russian despots were as “cute” as Che, and few were t-shirt worthy, what with unsightly birthmarks and all, but the “Progressives” loved the IDEA of Communism and its patron, The Union of Soviet Socialist Republics.

To be fair to Jane’s metaphor, LIKE the unkempt vagina, the AK47 is a nasty weapon, its 7.62 rounds often tumbling on impact, creating horrific wounds. It was invented by Mr. Kalashnikov, a wounded WW2 vet, to be simple enough for illiterate Russian peasants to use against Nazis. Its name is derived from the fact that it debuted in 1947. It is also cheap to produce, running from just $30 to around $150 in Third World countries, where it is a favorite of thugs, cartels and general miscreants.

As far as its “not being subject to regulation or restriction,” Heaven only knows what Jane is talking about. It has previously been banned and/or restricted in many states. In California, where I believe Jane has at least one home, and plies her trade as a mediocre actress, a weapon that holds 30 rounds would be illegal, although it remains to be seen whether the newest SCOTUS ruling may alter that. We have been told by many prominent politicians and celebrities that they can just defy gun rulings like they do immigration law, or even abolish the Supreme Court.

As for “calling” a vagina an AK-47, the great dead white male Abraham Lincoln cut to the heart of the issue with his response to the question of a boy asking how many legs his calf would have if he called its tail a leg. The answer is four, not five. It doesn’t matter what you call it, a tail is NOT a leg.

Right, Smart and Honest Abe. And neither is a vagina a gun, nor a man in a skirt in the Ladies’ Room a woman. Nor a tiny elfin actress with a double mastectomy a man. Sigh. If our forefathers had had the slightest notion that we would eventually fall off the presidential cliff from Washington and Lincoln to Joe Biden, they would have just abandoned the Revolution and gone back to their peaceful farms. “You know what? I think we can live with a tax on tea. I have seen the future and I don’t think these people are worth the sacrifice…”

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